tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65475250489149076462024-03-04T22:22:33.705-08:00a day in the life of amanda janeamandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-19973782798486863182012-08-16T11:49:00.001-07:002012-08-16T11:49:45.092-07:00laguna beach: toes in the sand<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">
laguna beach: toes in the sand</div>
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i was able to escape some of the scorching heat and head into laguna beach for a shoot this week. </div>
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felt incredible to be by the water. and was so much fun chasing these 2 around.</div>
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their mother is a genius for scheduling photos at the end of summer. she's ahead of the game for holiday cards and is comforted knowing she won't stress about it as the chaos of the school year begins around her. </div>
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here's just a little sneak peek of just some cute toes :)</div>
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<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-32742391424361793892012-08-15T22:35:00.001-07:002012-08-15T22:35:49.316-07:00hale family: just like family<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">
hale family: just like family</div>
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this family has a special place in my heart. </div>
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they are friends with my little brother and sister in-law. </div>
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mike is a marine stationed at 29 palms. he and his wife met my brother and sister in law when they were all living in idaho and have been friends ever since. i will always appreciate how they "took care" of my family when they lived away from us. now that mike and chelsey are stationed here in california, we are able to return the favor. </div>
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hale family, i have enjoyed our holidays and summer fun adventures with you cheers to many, many more!!</div>
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xoxo amanda</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ps - chelsey, did you happen to notice how many pics that darn cat was in? he was everywhere. it was like "where's waldo?"!! ;)</span></div>
<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-84688537226075415342012-08-14T16:00:00.000-07:002012-08-14T16:04:04.910-07:00special projects: head shots -kelsey's edgy look<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">
my friend and i often joke that a blog is like having another baby. it takes attention and nurturing; a lot of time. something i have been short on a lot lately. unfortunately my baby blog has been neglected. so with the start of the school year and since both of my littles will be in class, i have made myself a promise. a promise to give my blog more tender, loving care. even if it's to do a quick post here and there. but i want to share what i have been up to. because believe it or not, i have been up to a lot. therefore my blog has been nearly abandoned. i am back. with a renewed sense of blogging. cheers to being inundated by amanda jane!</div>
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special project: head shot - kelsey's edgy look</div>
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i had the distinct pleasure of working with this young lady a few months back. she came to me in need of some new head shots. she wanted several different looks. this was kelsy's "edgy look." isn't she <i>edgy</i>? </div>
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my stylist, <a href="http://www.stylesbyjessicafrederick.com/">jess</a> led us to an abandoned warehouse where we brushed the dust aside and got to shooting. see for yourself. would you hire her to model? i sure would. i intend to. </div>
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i hope to work with kelsey again in the very near future. </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a huge shout out to </span><a href="http://www.stylesbyjessicafrederick.com/" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">jessica fredrick</a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> with styles by jess for the hair and make up you see here. love you girl; love our adventures!</span></div>
amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-453993614039553572012-05-06T10:24:00.002-07:002012-05-06T10:24:39.748-07:00Sail Away....<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sail Away: Veronica & Mario</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Can't stop thinking about these two. They chose to sail away on a cruise with their family and closest friends. They were married at sea this weekend and will spend the rest of their time enjoying the vacation. I love that idea!!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was fortunate enough to meet Veronica and Mario through my sister in law. And I'm so lucky that I did. These two are adorable and I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. They laughed and giggled our entire session. It was cute. It was freezing that morning with a light mist falling . And look at Veronica; such a good sport in her cute little white sundress. Mario always made sure she was "ok" and warm enough. ;)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mario shared the story of his proposal. He described how nervous he was and how important it was that things went perfectly. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well Mario, we didn't see any deer during your engagement session. But we had a lot of fun and captured some great memories for you!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By now, they are officially Mr. & Mrs. I am so happy for them. Congratulations, you two!! Hope you are having a wonderful time sailing away this week. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xox, amanda jane</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-30142187876711811122012-04-16T11:21:00.002-07:002012-04-16T11:21:57.219-07:00in love....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">... with this dress. this field. this sunlight.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it made me want to get married all over again. right here. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCx4Utj7sa7xqfn4DcHOHdosVA0Wi9tO-eDxS44gc5kvj_qgFbdmW5AxyCreZJH5qS4u0AoTv-A8iFpCsPW4lLxUedWXhzGKI38944osq4irztqqhV2hxj3f8PCHUePKdUruEXl2ojLRU/s1600/IMG_6787.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCx4Utj7sa7xqfn4DcHOHdosVA0Wi9tO-eDxS44gc5kvj_qgFbdmW5AxyCreZJH5qS4u0AoTv-A8iFpCsPW4lLxUedWXhzGKI38944osq4irztqqhV2hxj3f8PCHUePKdUruEXl2ojLRU/s640/IMG_6787.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this is what i'm working on today. and i can't take my eyes off these images.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i am mesmerized. i am in love.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">these incredible images would not have been possible without the magic of a few helpers:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">jessica frederick - <a href="http://www.stylesbyjessicafrederick.com/portfolio.html">styles by jess</a> - is responsible for the beautiful hair & make up</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">jaime stephens - <a href="http://www.elysereuben.com/">elyse reuben couture gowns</a> - is the creativegenius behind the beautiful dress</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">kelsey - the beautiful face wearing all of the above</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">had a fantastic afternoon with all of you and i look forward to posting more from our adventure together!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, aj</span></div>
<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-39921962528415512572012-04-12T22:02:00.002-07:002012-04-12T22:02:30.289-07:00a super cute little person: this cash money<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the house is quiet. i'm up editing tonight and looking back at pictures of a special little man: cash. i call him cash money. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">his mom and i got together to photograph his 6 month mark in this big world and i fell in love with him all over again looking over his images this evening. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i know you will too when you see his cute mug in these pics.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">here he is, folks.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJSYi32uiG-K4V0i2aZUBm0zrFZK9mBU7O11YIE_4bp5fk2YxabBKBK0hhYYvpS6yru7QLJ4clZBnimP-luRc_dHC9WCX5qlrZCvyYdMUwuk3rxOHHlQm0e_n8dTwqoB5flwSD6D63MGU/s1600/IMG_0136.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJSYi32uiG-K4V0i2aZUBm0zrFZK9mBU7O11YIE_4bp5fk2YxabBKBK0hhYYvpS6yru7QLJ4clZBnimP-luRc_dHC9WCX5qlrZCvyYdMUwuk3rxOHHlQm0e_n8dTwqoB5flwSD6D63MGU/s640/IMG_0136.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixbaxweZDmKNY7MtC4ZkQiF2wkF4yxvrob9b4UdCWRn9WtwFJJfNsgg9sGy_UR2F6OJeINA_Zz5fEf5DyQ6XkpyWCaylDmvxe6Tzj3r6P_gXLU7LUOHh-KtzUVqtuyJGzMAb03msNEmtE/s1600/IMG_0234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixbaxweZDmKNY7MtC4ZkQiF2wkF4yxvrob9b4UdCWRn9WtwFJJfNsgg9sGy_UR2F6OJeINA_Zz5fEf5DyQ6XkpyWCaylDmvxe6Tzj3r6P_gXLU7LUOHh-KtzUVqtuyJGzMAb03msNEmtE/s640/IMG_0234.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTx8duCJhMCw8zEVs1j0HrBzOClYXT11vFsbLf73yGaBgoMF70Cedlp98spYDNpPzJCInbqls5nPr0J9DoisDzotXm5A4xTGovtKJb7DUwcoBflFBkZMlHeIaLWLU612ku7050Fot3-Pg/s1600/IMG_0243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTx8duCJhMCw8zEVs1j0HrBzOClYXT11vFsbLf73yGaBgoMF70Cedlp98spYDNpPzJCInbqls5nPr0J9DoisDzotXm5A4xTGovtKJb7DUwcoBflFBkZMlHeIaLWLU612ku7050Fot3-Pg/s640/IMG_0243.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i am mesmerized by him.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWg0fbotaNjCb5FrT-G9DVOpHFUGbZvTaGP0q1u3wQKPfL4iApCqZSUnp8L9aj91Ic-H49MjNJSqal7g9Zb_ziq7TWkVaq3GUj6oaut7U_0iTiN7a1nkgWY_zUVwxWSGdQb3oWhib-V1s/s1600/IMG_0443.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWg0fbotaNjCb5FrT-G9DVOpHFUGbZvTaGP0q1u3wQKPfL4iApCqZSUnp8L9aj91Ic-H49MjNJSqal7g9Zb_ziq7TWkVaq3GUj6oaut7U_0iTiN7a1nkgWY_zUVwxWSGdQb3oWhib-V1s/s640/IMG_0443.jpg" width="460" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><3 breaker, for sure!<br /></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatrX0Pd-eb4bRhgTsEHo0QqUe7MTxiIPBk1EmiPENjO7vDAUTJViSIA6-mNXSHlbJeEsAcWONwH6aGQBpkfukQqTUAtyUuWTSoFtom4BcZsgU2AdaIqisv618N15ZprWZ1SUbZ_DD1wI/s1600/IMG_0470.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgatrX0Pd-eb4bRhgTsEHo0QqUe7MTxiIPBk1EmiPENjO7vDAUTJViSIA6-mNXSHlbJeEsAcWONwH6aGQBpkfukQqTUAtyUuWTSoFtom4BcZsgU2AdaIqisv618N15ZprWZ1SUbZ_DD1wI/s640/IMG_0470.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDonqnfnBZIq1gOlYTbVFdrsI2pJ-HrEF92hpegwn3MWCuGSpILlpllXLyiv7024KBHzcleycxTy7vu4G1Rt2hfntJoCJ50_SqTep57sVCTs8QKAdHfBMVkhyV21CJKmCyFumHtFRMCFo/s1600/IMG_0498.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDonqnfnBZIq1gOlYTbVFdrsI2pJ-HrEF92hpegwn3MWCuGSpILlpllXLyiv7024KBHzcleycxTy7vu4G1Rt2hfntJoCJ50_SqTep57sVCTs8QKAdHfBMVkhyV21CJKmCyFumHtFRMCFo/s640/IMG_0498.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this was just before he tumbled over into the grass. did he cry? nope. he's a stud.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlkxFnKF9JDhAGQmk4hlPhCYO3Q12JImns0d83v6d48HgPzMa08hij8h1G5nj717Q3hsNKU5xYm5LMzrwgIzIo3XkwNJXxRSuSg3s-v9D4yRhlcHVITbGnI2D45OPNyepXp625M9PBmNA/s1600/IMG_0505.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlkxFnKF9JDhAGQmk4hlPhCYO3Q12JImns0d83v6d48HgPzMa08hij8h1G5nj717Q3hsNKU5xYm5LMzrwgIzIo3XkwNJXxRSuSg3s-v9D4yRhlcHVITbGnI2D45OPNyepXp625M9PBmNA/s640/IMG_0505.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ok, now he's crying. he was over it. done. and he needed some love from mama. </td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">jess, thank you for letting me photograph your little man. i could just eat him up. he is such a joy to be around; such a good, mellow baby. another joy i get is hanging out with you and i am laughing as i think about some of the crazy adventures we have had together lately. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i love it all. thank you for your friendship and for everything. cheers to many more crazy adventures together!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">cash, love ya kid! i'd take you any day and twice on sunday. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xoxo, aj</span></div>
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-76788166639155254202012-03-02T16:56:00.000-08:002012-03-02T16:56:30.861-08:00sweet engagement shoot: justin and jessica<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">justin and jessica are getting married! and i am thrilled and so deeply honored that they asked me to be a part of it!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we scheduled their engagement shoot for a gorgeous afternoon at crystal cove state beach in the historic district. i love what we captured and am excited for their special day!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1sN1ImE6Jo2wUILmegiF5xTqChIWi7K05ZO4tKCrjKxEmAGY8h9Lv9vTEK-6JEjMwmeNewNZUw_CC5nkYXX8V-GKklRu0uxSfkqRf9mlHUKgal_QsZexylSkqe7IsqSY9PMSqBvo04PI/s1600/IMG_0650.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1sN1ImE6Jo2wUILmegiF5xTqChIWi7K05ZO4tKCrjKxEmAGY8h9Lv9vTEK-6JEjMwmeNewNZUw_CC5nkYXX8V-GKklRu0uxSfkqRf9mlHUKgal_QsZexylSkqe7IsqSY9PMSqBvo04PI/s640/IMG_0650.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">justin and jessica's wedding is this summer. justin is a friend of mine whom i met through work. he is sweet and good and strong. justin has been a big supporter of amanda jane photography since the very beginning and as soon as he proposed to jessica, he contacted me about pictures. this touched me deeply. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i am very proud to have the distinct pleasure of photographing their wedding.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">their event represents a huge marker in the growth of amanda jane photography. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> justin and jessica will be one of my first weddings . this fact is scary and exciting me to me all at the same time. a whole new chapter. i am up for the challenge and get giddy thinking about it.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this family becomes a party of 3</span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRDAaD5bpxS0N27zUuIhVIsnCyBy-i8yUznFYJqsTrLpR-El30SCjO4L5Wn6bYVU-5cHknBvLc3MO46qE-UhtcfKd9e-cCOQNTN8lo5JMuZ6srhbuERq6WBzOX-5UCqIlqtHWDOW9CTH4/s1600/IMG_0883.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRDAaD5bpxS0N27zUuIhVIsnCyBy-i8yUznFYJqsTrLpR-El30SCjO4L5Wn6bYVU-5cHknBvLc3MO46qE-UhtcfKd9e-cCOQNTN8lo5JMuZ6srhbuERq6WBzOX-5UCqIlqtHWDOW9CTH4/s640/IMG_0883.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this turquoise make her hair and skin look radiant</span></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDYEbJPUkbI-ZTkZp05e1Imhjzk9w08skpKMvp-g0OZRvbNtMEZm9xiypXBU5h-L5hjF2vW1BC5TVAimk050rRHxHvZu_GWzvEvdsyFKzAmEDH02UPoI1YEvMm1IFDXsPy97uSXM_f2N0/s1600/IMG_1178.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDYEbJPUkbI-ZTkZp05e1Imhjzk9w08skpKMvp-g0OZRvbNtMEZm9xiypXBU5h-L5hjF2vW1BC5TVAimk050rRHxHvZu_GWzvEvdsyFKzAmEDH02UPoI1YEvMm1IFDXsPy97uSXM_f2N0/s640/IMG_1178.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">do you remember young love? remember how fresh and new it all is. how exciting it is with butterflies in your stomach? i do. these two made me remember that all over again. justin and jessica, i loved our time together. cheers to you and i look forward to watching you all become mr. & mrs. congratulations!! and thank you, from the bottom of my heart. thank you for believing in me and amanda jane. <3</span></div>
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<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-55820329444607612712012-02-14T07:12:00.000-08:002012-02-14T07:12:32.651-08:00my dear, sweet valentines<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VmBxl7qarAlrHUa4o2it8kY3Xk5E9Sa8zH1rlbMfHiEd90-dclqLobuVnVSJnaB7Zy20wv2r4m4gm81isthfQJFm_Seu40R7KIc62TbLe-ZKSc5cHrLI_7kEk9TKu7BgBl95lmptjJQ/s1600/IMG_9172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2VmBxl7qarAlrHUa4o2it8kY3Xk5E9Sa8zH1rlbMfHiEd90-dclqLobuVnVSJnaB7Zy20wv2r4m4gm81isthfQJFm_Seu40R7KIc62TbLe-ZKSc5cHrLI_7kEk9TKu7BgBl95lmptjJQ/s640/IMG_9172.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my dear, sweet valentines.</span> </div>
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<center>I’ll be very happy<br />If you’ll be my Valentine;<br />You’ll fill my heart with joy,<br />And my day with bright sunshine!</center><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
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<center><i>By Joanna Fuchs</i></center><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i was blessed with 2 sweethearts. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">they are the best gift my husband has ever given me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">they are truly my sunshine.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">one is 5 </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and the other is 3.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLJMed316LPS7GkceANvfSiprRjbT7pf_uCRRDq0yED_ts2ZOx1hS8aRmRPKNVdFSxMUN0k8cWHcXByfIthmoCcMTa0Mh9sp7mH7ahfEB8QMtYHfZvB1i39cDTbT7rQmpyDA759D00e8/s1600/IMG_9561.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLJMed316LPS7GkceANvfSiprRjbT7pf_uCRRDq0yED_ts2ZOx1hS8aRmRPKNVdFSxMUN0k8cWHcXByfIthmoCcMTa0Mh9sp7mH7ahfEB8QMtYHfZvB1i39cDTbT7rQmpyDA759D00e8/s640/IMG_9561.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my husband jokes about valentines day. he believes we should show some extra love all year round. i couldn't agree more. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my goal is to show these two how much they are loved every day of the year</span>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgne3jifmFaO00eDQtgu84sBK8n_mhS5Pc_Qw2q21dNxAlsxYzmGYhyphenhyphenzWq_bOS_GEnZmkcHGdXzY3UhXZb_t8lDeYE1lAbQgxiNn1_MRiTqBeF-aGjrSMeh7ADtVF3-iZDplKJS276Pk/s1600/IMG_9026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgne3jifmFaO00eDQtgu84sBK8n_mhS5Pc_Qw2q21dNxAlsxYzmGYhyphenhyphenzWq_bOS_GEnZmkcHGdXzY3UhXZb_t8lDeYE1lAbQgxiNn1_MRiTqBeF-aGjrSMeh7ADtVF3-iZDplKJS276Pk/s640/IMG_9026.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">nico & g,</span></center><center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i love you both very much.</span></center><center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">you are two of the most special valentines i could ask for. one of the things i love most about you is the way you love each other. i get such joy out of watching you play together. i am proud of the way you take care of each other. stay sweet. </span></center><center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">love always, mom xoxo </span></center><center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></center><br />
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-43097895693795735812012-01-16T14:39:00.000-08:002012-01-16T14:39:55.595-08:00danielle: a strength you didn't know you had<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoonQndYkrXQSzNpzSl8w6QGWlDo5Atry5GglohXZn4_tuBRY8ZN-CRWLiLeRAu0dXzQ00HhxoGsBuHMQtAIEWYEyIPp6K_J9QDCVYMuxoQ7EEpVX1n2vYj6nFNQXvRjPF1dnUVJgYVVY/s1600/IMG_1680.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="406" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoonQndYkrXQSzNpzSl8w6QGWlDo5Atry5GglohXZn4_tuBRY8ZN-CRWLiLeRAu0dXzQ00HhxoGsBuHMQtAIEWYEyIPp6K_J9QDCVYMuxoQ7EEpVX1n2vYj6nFNQXvRjPF1dnUVJgYVVY/s640/IMG_1680.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you find yourself in a situation you never thought you would be in. you are forced to dig deep and find a strength you might not have known was there.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my friend danielle is traveling down a road she never imagined being on. her strength and courageous spirit inspire me. she digs deep and continues to move forward because of 2 very special reasons: </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Fydtkuiu-XWaZP-UQLEyZBQ4DZ4p7y0neZrZVSD091iDWVoA0syV2VSADO-PNzAGX2_yvKtwSZmXjES9F1i0UnjMsapO8I-73voyqhQ0l7D5kl8GysYo9R7BltZtE-k5A1KllcXS3E4/s1600/IMG_0883.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Fydtkuiu-XWaZP-UQLEyZBQ4DZ4p7y0neZrZVSD091iDWVoA0syV2VSADO-PNzAGX2_yvKtwSZmXjES9F1i0UnjMsapO8I-73voyqhQ0l7D5kl8GysYo9R7BltZtE-k5A1KllcXS3E4/s640/IMG_0883.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">reason #1</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD7f3hipwFEc_io9snFm97AIn_AIqKEP86nmkXml-C5l_vTC9f3HFnGRUsnprswpx2iqqwxYefZocvS6flUVKqz7M9WadSnLwVg-bXlRdIEwDbVICN6VmO4byWghcQlcHM4HIpt10AmQc/s1600/IMG_0894.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD7f3hipwFEc_io9snFm97AIn_AIqKEP86nmkXml-C5l_vTC9f3HFnGRUsnprswpx2iqqwxYefZocvS6flUVKqz7M9WadSnLwVg-bXlRdIEwDbVICN6VmO4byWghcQlcHM4HIpt10AmQc/s640/IMG_0894.jpg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">reason #2</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i can only imagine how many times you might have heard the saying: "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." i can also imagine there are some days you would like to have those lemons with tequila and salt. that is part of the cycle, i suppose. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYbtmBWWWcikIy_WLBAo96-DVdR63V-7v2VbA6nmRdg5-4mg6TClvznK1U8nnwQbTK3oumoVHl4nHwO9fiXZCINNNxpB44OfIn6t9vCnkoVfkZvINOzFVwyxnguWUOE-Fy0w99TvPSo0A/s1600/IMG_1494.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYbtmBWWWcikIy_WLBAo96-DVdR63V-7v2VbA6nmRdg5-4mg6TClvznK1U8nnwQbTK3oumoVHl4nHwO9fiXZCINNNxpB44OfIn6t9vCnkoVfkZvINOzFVwyxnguWUOE-Fy0w99TvPSo0A/s640/IMG_1494.jpg" width="488" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this image tells a story</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fPVUeV5zHv4KtZAJZln_6-ImNm3eq4dJzJqI0w4mVFhsznomuLGJGwp46b77RaQ36ug4srvY2p9NRj1sAC-31Ra3yyxHUtJwUpuDkQUQ8dJQoBxeMVgcHPLaCffBdle7iSD6WSKdZeA/s1600/IMG_1569.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6fPVUeV5zHv4KtZAJZln_6-ImNm3eq4dJzJqI0w4mVFhsznomuLGJGwp46b77RaQ36ug4srvY2p9NRj1sAC-31Ra3yyxHUtJwUpuDkQUQ8dJQoBxeMVgcHPLaCffBdle7iSD6WSKdZeA/s640/IMG_1569.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my friend, i admire your tenacious spirit. you have endured a truly difficult experience. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">you are independent. you are beautiful. these last few months have been challenging but you have dug down and found a strength deep inside. you will get through this. continue to be the woman your boys can be proud of. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBfZ1z_eclLchRQrm7QSW_MnIE28NDU8f-ehO-3M3sWOr1C8rWPDcdzIWvhyphenhyphenszvs4wuSnTlxR_SAe0WsThosxPnypC3_BuLw7vYH8jV9_Zbil2aAQvBYh_fkF1wbqlSTUo6um7srz7e9s/s1600/IMG_0965.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBfZ1z_eclLchRQrm7QSW_MnIE28NDU8f-ehO-3M3sWOr1C8rWPDcdzIWvhyphenhyphenszvs4wuSnTlxR_SAe0WsThosxPnypC3_BuLw7vYH8jV9_Zbil2aAQvBYh_fkF1wbqlSTUo6um7srz7e9s/s640/IMG_0965.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKmLmQHK1WYIFVytdCpXSLN7P0HmfCAtKaa6ktD8VjXJpuvY6l7uXajD_O0dXKKDpGyLFYn6iauNRzEFIenZIUWLrwhkLA2yJqdN1ervkVa8DwkSb6TM_dji8L7Fa4U8-Kk9JyF1mo7lE/s1600/IMG_1435.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKmLmQHK1WYIFVytdCpXSLN7P0HmfCAtKaa6ktD8VjXJpuvY6l7uXajD_O0dXKKDpGyLFYn6iauNRzEFIenZIUWLrwhkLA2yJqdN1ervkVa8DwkSb6TM_dji8L7Fa4U8-Kk9JyF1mo7lE/s640/IMG_1435.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">typical brothers... i love how this picture captures the big brother vs little brother</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj7Wx9o6vIVnIcZz3ba-EwjizU7dOpBt8fDkRa7EuHcNOTUaeKiGpdJWBaZdsqAo26ZTddoYbrlIUFJ2RNH_EI8OaPFfpDLanenmB-yW8NfDOTIbWa-sUIULOAh28L3VGGYfQEOUw-jFo/s1600/IMG_1723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj7Wx9o6vIVnIcZz3ba-EwjizU7dOpBt8fDkRa7EuHcNOTUaeKiGpdJWBaZdsqAo26ZTddoYbrlIUFJ2RNH_EI8OaPFfpDLanenmB-yW8NfDOTIbWa-sUIULOAh28L3VGGYfQEOUw-jFo/s640/IMG_1723.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">these boys love their mama <3</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">danielle, you are an amazing mother to your boys. they think you hung the moon. i enjoyed our afternoon together and had such a great time with all 3 of you. i look forward to hanging out with you again very soon. xox, aj</span></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-40985286743203525542012-01-04T22:15:00.000-08:002012-01-08T15:20:48.952-08:00Chapter 11: on again; off again<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">october 21,2011</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> I remained in contact via email with both the dermatologist and my rheumatologist for several weeks. on the 21st of october i checked in with my rheumatologist to let him know my rash had completely cleared up, only some mild dry skin was left. the only thing that lingered was some moderate pain and swelling in my hands. the doctor suggested i taper off the prednisone gradually - at a rate of 2.5 mg per week and check back in with him in another 2 weeks. he wanted to see how my body would react to going off the steroid. i could do that. for the most part, i was feeling better physically. the rest of my body felt decent. not great but i was getting by alright. besides, i had a busy couple of months coming up. the holidays were approaching and my calendar was booking up. i decided to concentrate on that and hoped my body would cooperate.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">fast forward to early november. i emailed my rheumatologist as directed. there was not any real change in my condition. i had aches and pains all over. somedays i felt better than others. i was finding ways to get around the pain. simple things like opening a jelly jar was torture for my hands. doing the dishes was difficult; often times I had no grip to hold heavy objects. my kids stepped up and helped me with a lot of things. they understood mommy didn't feel well and they knew they had to help me. waves of guilt washed over me sometimes. was it bad that my kiddos had to help me? or was this a life lesson in compassion for them? i guess it depended on the day and how i was feeling as to how i might answer that question.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">early in the morning on november 14 i made a quick trip to los angeles. literally, i drove up there and walked into the office of my rheumatologist. ten minutes later i was finished and in the car, driving back home. they took my blood. took my $20 copay and that was it. this was the first time i started to question my sanity. is it worth all of this? should I find a doctor closer to home? no. i was doing the right thing. i think. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a couple days later i received an email from the doctor. my labs looked good. there was no sign of inflammation. he advised me to begin tapering off the prednisone. take 10mg a day for 10 days then go down to 5mg a day for 5 days. on again; off again. whatever it took. i tried to remain positive. always putting on a smiley face. my friend has a saying: "fake it 'til you make it." it played in my head quite often; i wanted to tattoo it to my forehead. when i meet up with friends and family, they looked at me differently now. <i>"poor amanda"</i> was written on their faces. i didn't want that. i didn't like that and i was determined to prove to them i could get through this. remember, i'm strong! additionally, i was determined not to let this sickness define me. it was getting tough. i was trying desperately to hold it together. be the best mom i could be to my kids, be an attentive and loving wife. continue working my part-time job as a dispatcher. scheduling photo shoots during the busiest time of the year. i really think part of me hoped that if i ignored the pain, it would simply go away. i was wrong. every day i woke up to the same feeling and the same pit in my stomach. it hurt to lift the covers off my body to get out of bed. i knew it was going to be a tough day when i was unable to button my daughter's jeans. my morning routine started off with a hot shower, some light stretching, a huge pot of coffee and medication down the hatch. mentally i went into "f-ck it!" mode. i didn't care what i ate or how much i ate. food was my antidepressant and i liked it. it tasted good. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">november 23 - i emailed my rheumatologist to update him. again, my biggest complaint was pain, swelling and tenderness in my hands and wrists. my doctor suggested i see an orthopedist. i agreed. there was a doctor in orange that I had seen a couple years ago when i dealt with carpal tunnel. he was nice enough. he had helped me back then, maybe he could help me now. the mornings were the worst. i would wake up with stiff hands and swollen wrists. try getting up at 4am to go into work where I was expected to type for 12 hours. it was proving to be a challenge. i was ingesting up to 2400mg of advil just to try to take the edge off the pain. i knew this wasn't right. i also felt pressure to continue to work. my family needed me to contribute for financial reasons. i also felt a commitment to my employer and the other employees i work with. they are in dire need for employees to help cover shifts. everyone has a story, mine was no different. i just sucked it up and pushed through.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">december 12- i drove to orange for my orthopedist appointment. he was as friendly and helpful as i remember him being. he sat patiently and listened to my story as i brought him up to date. he concluded that my problem is systemic. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i'm sorry. there is not a surgery or anything i can do to fix you. since there are numerous joints affected, your problem is systemic and i believe we are dealing with an autoimmune problem here." he explained. "your body is telling us what we need to know without having to do blood work. your joints - especially your hands- are visibly swollen. you need to go back on prednisone but i'm worried about your stomach." he continued "taking all these medications and 2400mg advil is going to blow a hole in your stomach. i need to give you something for that too."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"ok."I said. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i know you like your doctor in LA but i'd like you to find someone closer. i can give you some referrals." I got a little defensive when he mentioned this. i didn't want to find anyone closer. i like my doctor; he is on my team but I tried to remember to keep an open mind. i took the information, thanked him for his time then left his office.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i walked to my car, called my husband and broke down crying. this sucked. i was hoping for different news from the orthopedist. i did not want to go back on the steroids. most of all i did not want to be in pain anymore. with everything going on i had abandoned my gluten-free diet and was eating like a pig. i was also in too much pain for even moderate exercise. all of this contributed to my mood continuing a downward spiral. my husband talked me off the ledge and calmed me down. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">once calm and collected, i sat in the parking lot and dialed the 2 referral numbers the orthopedist had given me. the first doctor did not accept my insurance. the second one was not taking any new patients. there was my answer. i figured this was a sign that i needed to stick with my rheumatologist in los angeles. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the first thing i did when i got home was email my rheumatologist and let him know what had happened. he emailed me back immediately. i love people who communicate. he is a communicator. another sign that i needed to stay with him. </span>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-68533919799652751352012-01-03T22:51:00.000-08:002012-01-06T15:21:43.973-08:00a mother's love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a mother's love.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this mother is tough. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this mother is strong. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this mother has a huge soft spot for her two kiddos.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">how could she not? they adore her. </span><i>(as they should.)</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> and she lives for them.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">watching this woman with her children was incredible. spending an afternoon with them was FUN!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i felt their connection - deep in my core. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it made me want to be a part of their little club.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i found this poem and it reminded me of you, holly:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a mother's love:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a mother's love is something</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">that no one can explain,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it is made of deep devotion</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and of sacrifice and pain,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it is endless and unselfish</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and enduring come what may</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">for nothing can destroy it</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">or take that love away...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it is patient and forgiving</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">when all others are forsaking,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and it never fails or falters</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">even though the heart is breaking...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it believes beyond believing</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">when the world around condemns</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and it glows with all the beauty</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">of the rarest, brightest gems...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it is far beyond defining,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it defies all explanation,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and it still remains a secret</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">like the mysteries of creation...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a many splendored miracle</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">man cannot understand</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and another wondrous evidence</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">of God's tender guiding hand.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUgz5lwNJATGOkTXwq0sfgJcdkgI4bTGQbicRkG6Ekpw_HujmZhdTT2qjLNVHMO3OZlSTFPOERAPOHr63_r3htUvTESRcTp-WsncN0HKm0Mio1JLTIcWxEFTfAJ1LKoHQWG6XoezUmzE/s1600/pics+084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUgz5lwNJATGOkTXwq0sfgJcdkgI4bTGQbicRkG6Ekpw_HujmZhdTT2qjLNVHMO3OZlSTFPOERAPOHr63_r3htUvTESRcTp-WsncN0HKm0Mio1JLTIcWxEFTfAJ1LKoHQWG6XoezUmzE/s640/pics+084.jpg" width="428" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo taken by Dina Conover</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhfDm71iaU9M-k0726SYu5ZkmrOAGPvSVR70jtf4kwu9eBaHPMmzPQQo-T86jHH46XCN2bkl1AM4Lr19SEJ4Qt27TbBEpf2M_DDMXfZsuN4cwAD5uwshKw5CD_yDxPT5j9iYO3E60sYg/s1600/pics+141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibhfDm71iaU9M-k0726SYu5ZkmrOAGPvSVR70jtf4kwu9eBaHPMmzPQQo-T86jHH46XCN2bkl1AM4Lr19SEJ4Qt27TbBEpf2M_DDMXfZsuN4cwAD5uwshKw5CD_yDxPT5j9iYO3E60sYg/s640/pics+141.jpg" width="438" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo taken by Dina Conover<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje0J0chPofFOK_GLw3yYE46yvNf6h2ynXlEnDWX6BOewBcNn5E9365nEXgcLqfEoAIW0IfAnPj_1uY2hDuVUvsxvzhDzjJUrfBF8JGVw_3MP8K4W62KxMuiu2zk9T9qZZjlesbdxcobw8/s1600/IMG_5691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje0J0chPofFOK_GLw3yYE46yvNf6h2ynXlEnDWX6BOewBcNn5E9365nEXgcLqfEoAIW0IfAnPj_1uY2hDuVUvsxvzhDzjJUrfBF8JGVw_3MP8K4W62KxMuiu2zk9T9qZZjlesbdxcobw8/s640/IMG_5691.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i loved being a part of your three-some for an afternoon. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i can't help but smile every time i see you since our time together and a hug is always required. (even you, liam!)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">they have burrowed a special place in my heart. i laughed so hard with them; belly laughed so hard that i almost peed my pants a couple of times.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my good friend, dina conover and her daughter allie-cat were with us for this comedy hour. you can see some of dina's handy work above.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">i didn't want our time together to end. can we do it again soon? </span><i>(bailey is probably nodding her head "yes" & holly is rolling her eyes at me- she hates having her picture taken)</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">holly, bailey & liam - thank you for letting me capture these moments with you. i enjoyed every minute and look forward to when we can laugh together again. i will never look atthe mcdonald's mcrib sandwich the same way. nor will i be able to go back to this spot for a shoot and not stop to remember what an incredible honor it was to be with you that day. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i love what we captured and i smile every time i look at your images. i hope you do, too. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">lots of love to you, xox amanda jane</span></div>
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</tbody></table>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-29298646682339161552012-01-03T00:50:00.000-08:002012-01-08T15:22:11.634-08:00chapter 10: i think you've had a drug eruption<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">october 2011</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we arrived at the dermatologist office in downtown beverly hills. the building had an antiqued look to it but inside the doctor's office was completely the opposite. the floors, walls and even some of the furniture were white marble. very cool,crisp and clean. my husband and i exchanged glances: "wow!" with our eye brows raised. no wonder they didn't accept insurance; this was a cash-only establishment. of course it was, because everyone in beverly hills can pay cash for their dermatologist. <i>right?</i> </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">not a great quality photo, but you get the idea ...</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the staff was friendly. the knew who i was and advised me the doctor was expecting me. i couldn't help but notice a silly looking cardboard cutout of a man who i assumed was the dermatologist. this matched the metallic sculpture of him hanging on the wall. i hadn't even met the man and i knew i was going to like him. there was no way he could take himself too seriously. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the nurse called me back to one of the exam rooms and my husband followed me. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"the doctor will be right with you." she said and left us alone - but only for a short time. soon there was a loud, boisterous male voice on the other side of the door.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"well hello there! you must be amanda." his voice boomed and he walked in. in front of me stood a short, older gentleman with silver hair and a matching mustache that stuck out 6 inches on either side of his mouth. you could see it required a lot of goop to make it stand straight out like that. his white lab coat was long sleeve and went down below his knees. to top it all off, he wore a magnifying glass headset with a lens visor and small light attached. when the magnifying glasses were pulled down over his eyes, it looked as though he was staring at me through a pair of coke bottles. i let out a little giggle and he smiled. clearly, this was not the first time he'd had this same reaction.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i got right down to business. he was a doctor; a busy man who had "squeezed" me in so i did not want to waste his time. i started reading off my notes and the doctor held his hand out.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"wait a minute. wait a minute.... I am the doctor. YOU are the patient. It is MY job to rush YOU. Not the other way around." i looked up at him and he had this sarcastic smirk on his face. he turned to my husband "she does this at home, doesn't she?" my husband just started laughing and shook his head.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"sorry." i took a deep breath and relaxed as the dermatologist asked me one question at a time. he listened carefully and made notes on a piece of paper. he paid particular attention to the medications i had been taking and dates i listed when certain signs/symptoms showed up. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">all of the sudden he opened the door to the exam room. "nurse!" he voice boomed. "get me my drug book and the digital camera." he closed the door and was with us again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"now don't <i>ever</i> look in this drug book. it will scare you to death. you won't even want to drink water from the fountain by the time you're done reading it." he joked. my husband sat in the corner and continued laughing. the dermatologist looked up 2 of the drugs i had been taking since august. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"you're on 2 sulfur drugs and you've just been to the airshow for an intense dose of sunlight. i think you might be having a drug eruption." he stated simply. "i don't think we need to biopsy the rash, i think we need to change your medications."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the door opened again. "nurse!" he called. "get me danny on the phone." it made me smile that he referred to my rheumatologist by his first name. clearly they were friends and i liked that. i wanted us all to be on the same page. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a few seconds later the phone rang in our exam room. the dermatologist put "danny" on speaker so we could hear what was said. they both agreed that i might be having a severe allergic reaction from taking the 2 sulfur drugs combined with sunlight sensitivity. they agreed that a biopsy did not need to be done at this time <i>(thank goodness because i was NOT looking forward to that!) </i> they decided to alter my medications as well as put me on benadryl, give me topical cream for my face, a steroid spray for the rest of my body and call it a day. it sounded like a solid plan. i was happy to be off 2 of my 3 medications. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"now i'd like to take a few photos of this rash. that way we can see how it progresses if/when you return for another visit." the dermatologist fidgeted with a small 35mm digital camera. "i hate these darn things. they never work quite right." he mumbled. <i>click-click.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"blurry." <i>click-click.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"blurry." </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">he frowned. <i>click-click.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"they're all blurry. damn thing.... NURSE!" he called out the door one last time. "i need a little help in here with this camera." i couldn't help it anymore. i started laughing out loud. it was as if we were in a cartoon and he played the main character. but i liked him. i really liked him. he knew what he was doing - except for the digital camera thing - and i trusted him. that is what was important: i TRUSTED him. at least he would get this rash figured out and make it go away. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i've got something i'd like to ask you about." i said.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"shoot." he answered.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"my family is spending a week at the beach in carlsbad. what kind of precaution do i need to take while i am there?" i asked.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"you, my dear" he began "are going to be the lady on the beach wearing 30 SPF, a very large brimmed hat and are going to be covered head to toe with clothing while sitting under an umbrella." he was so close to me now that the magnifying glasses made his eyes look enormous and his mustache practically poked my cheek.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i can do that." i answered. i was just relieved that i'd still be able to go and have fun with my kids and family. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"alright. it's been nice meeting you." he stuck out his little hand for a shake and smiled. "you take care of yourself and i will call you in a couple days to see how you are doing."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"great. thank you so much. i look forward to hearing from you." i said and i meant it. secretly, i hoped this wouldn't be my last visit to his office.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the dermatologist called me a couple days after my visit just as he said he would. he was pleased with my progress. words cannot describe how reassuring it was to have a doctor follow up with me. it made me feel as though i mattered. as though my "case" mattered to him. i appreciated that so much and again, was confident that i had found not only 1 good doctor but 2. the rheumatologist and dermatologist friends were on my team and that made me feel confident.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the following week my family and i went out of town to the beach and we had a wonderful time. the weather was cool and overcast - perfect for wearing long sleeves, pants and a large brimmed hat. i took the allergy medication and used the spray and creams as instructed. within a few days the rash had stopped spreading and began to clear up. no longer did i have the intense burning from inside out. this gave me some mental relief. we had conquered the rash, now let's get on with the rest of this mess. i was confident we would get answers, i just didn't know when or how long it would take. and remember, patience is something i am being challenged on.</span><br />
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<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-54115533664986964072011-12-29T22:55:00.000-08:002012-01-08T16:32:07.607-08:00the best compliment: tell a friend or 3<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the best compliment i could ever receive when it comes to my photography is for someone to refer a friend. i was lucky enough to experience this during the holiday season. i was also lucky enough to meet a group of amazing new families that i can now call my friends.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this all started with my friend, marisa and her family. i blogged about <a href="http://adayinthelifeofamandajane.blogspot.com/2011/10/teper-family-there-is-more-than-one-way.html">her and their adoption</a> adventure in october. marisa's son plays baseball and she spoke about our session with a couple of the other moms. i remember her telling me: "i hope it's ok, i gave your number to some of the baseball moms on cameron's team." ok? <i>ok??</i> are you kidding?!! thank you SO much! about a week later kim called.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">marisa & family</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">friend #1</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"hi my name is kim, i am a friend of marisa's. we saw her pictures and were wondering if you would do some for our family." my heart raced. this was such an honor. these people were calling <i>me</i> to do their pictures! i jumped at the opportunity. i liked kim immediately. when we met for our session together i instantly warmed to both her children. it turns out her husband i knew some of the people from high school. such a small world!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">kim & dean</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">such a fun family to hang with for the afternoon!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">kim and you family - you all were so great! so patient and willing to do whatever i asked of you. the best part of the day for me was when kim told me about how they used to go to an indoor studio for their photos. she said "not anymore. this was way better!" i love that our time together was as fun for you as it was for me! i look forward to another fun afternoon with you and your family soon. XO </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1P-YSkNDQEgNTLmjg7jCjkFSUlaZngGXeQRHgTP0h_Hug8sB28eoq1zG1dQ7UR971oMsx71PMNbQz1s-zJhNgLKjiYmHQw2jQZjC8Hm3fsaI5X_y__nmhU0EQlEQKdUjmgCEoxip9zgo/s1600/IMG_4681.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1P-YSkNDQEgNTLmjg7jCjkFSUlaZngGXeQRHgTP0h_Hug8sB28eoq1zG1dQ7UR971oMsx71PMNbQz1s-zJhNgLKjiYmHQw2jQZjC8Hm3fsaI5X_y__nmhU0EQlEQKdUjmgCEoxip9zgo/s640/IMG_4681.jpg" width="424" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKXp-VUUilHTBCspWfsJLBilhfPSzhtajIR6cPTV_K_DC9zOznUA55HeQhi8xMZn2uvu5vEYsWor3bB_0ATxAOrCs6gguDpp6zdkSnRE3N-1dCRR651_fbJ6QTn388X7gfMO1KBySZOcg/s1600/IMG_0223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKXp-VUUilHTBCspWfsJLBilhfPSzhtajIR6cPTV_K_DC9zOznUA55HeQhi8xMZn2uvu5vEYsWor3bB_0ATxAOrCs6gguDpp6zdkSnRE3N-1dCRR651_fbJ6QTn388X7gfMO1KBySZOcg/s640/IMG_0223.jpg" width="424" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZGfP0EEc3P1d8_CJMBTffYKflr_QT5P87cmHGgaUoaDXcQyt5PLmT2Ty-0Q-t_CFoKD_mAFMr0Af-uEw9TMFffRE0u3bWDB5wMDdJg61bUqROp-cfb86rrQTmvL4wompJJCN5xfhfrM/s1600/IMG_4877.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiZGfP0EEc3P1d8_CJMBTffYKflr_QT5P87cmHGgaUoaDXcQyt5PLmT2Ty-0Q-t_CFoKD_mAFMr0Af-uEw9TMFffRE0u3bWDB5wMDdJg61bUqROp-cfb86rrQTmvL4wompJJCN5xfhfrM/s640/IMG_4877.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">these kiddos were such fun and i loved every minute with them</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">friend #2</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">about a day or so later, my phone rang again and it was michelle. she explained how she knew marisa and kim and wanted to know if i would do pictures for her. this was awesome! i was overjoyed and excited to get her family a spot on my calendar. the weather in november was a little soggy, but we managed to sneak in an afternoon session at the <a href="http://www.galleanowinery.com/">galleano winery in mira loma.</a> </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6x1rWgpWxn-bO-HhO02loY6c5A9Z1ftA-nEmKhHJLD2eR3a-XTYQMdlOaw3_O8owSJehyphenhyphennvupqKfD_uCmOLyLuJo8TGsAq_WP2OQ608lj7ohDzm3Hj5sOmAaKww1VXBKcmynxFRmk8E/s1600/IMG_4260.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk6x1rWgpWxn-bO-HhO02loY6c5A9Z1ftA-nEmKhHJLD2eR3a-XTYQMdlOaw3_O8owSJehyphenhyphennvupqKfD_uCmOLyLuJo8TGsAq_WP2OQ608lj7ohDzm3Hj5sOmAaKww1VXBKcmynxFRmk8E/s640/IMG_4260.jpg" width="392" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR9PL3x412__LhXtDos9-5mUOCh5mzlx-JzyZMiPEG4UyCCLy1lTPzqdA9_wwMvRK4FkGlReQEOeUJSrnXNYDkWVzlqqqQiidZ0dXDKpdJKrV71lnyOaYA0X0Ba781KT7c19oiNoPGeoM/s1600/IMG_4331.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR9PL3x412__LhXtDos9-5mUOCh5mzlx-JzyZMiPEG4UyCCLy1lTPzqdA9_wwMvRK4FkGlReQEOeUJSrnXNYDkWVzlqqqQiidZ0dXDKpdJKrV71lnyOaYA0X0Ba781KT7c19oiNoPGeoM/s640/IMG_4331.jpg" width="424" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">brock is a heart-breaker in training</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHy2xxKSa0NPCsLsypLcr12QY4XNAjduexEDMjhiSbSgOh2ZAssJcnLtySwxkYaGJSFvlAJpS6yA5l8_2BRsIOMeypLXO9gKspewwglJq4nMypDFpMkVvDH8YcJzyKi7c5ZREsAInHwD4/s1600/IMG_4625.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHy2xxKSa0NPCsLsypLcr12QY4XNAjduexEDMjhiSbSgOh2ZAssJcnLtySwxkYaGJSFvlAJpS6yA5l8_2BRsIOMeypLXO9gKspewwglJq4nMypDFpMkVvDH8YcJzyKi7c5ZREsAInHwD4/s640/IMG_4625.jpg" width="377" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">michelle & family - thank you for chancing that rainy afternoon with me. we had a great time, didn't we? i am so glad we were able to meet. i had a wonderful time with all of you. brock - you're such a good sport; always willing to pose and be the perfect model. morgan - your sass is super. i love it and i love that we captured some of it in our pictures. wishing you all a wonderful 2012 and i am hopeful i get to see you soon. XO</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgauM_C2hVNJ0DVPtMTF2LWkegJSgGSfJs8FGdF7EXB9OWdwlGLSdWfpf0lxLInF3Oy5HTNWzvrbMiRCUMnJwEfOk1iuHxE-AhQedc92cc_wSJTm-7x0myxajckgvw40CSMvHJ4msLil1E/s1600/IMG_4829.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgauM_C2hVNJ0DVPtMTF2LWkegJSgGSfJs8FGdF7EXB9OWdwlGLSdWfpf0lxLInF3Oy5HTNWzvrbMiRCUMnJwEfOk1iuHxE-AhQedc92cc_wSJTm-7x0myxajckgvw40CSMvHJ4msLil1E/s640/IMG_4829.jpg" width="361" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">check out miss morgan, she is all sass</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPnXCMc-G9Q2VMbNpIMBsuEnDp1oNvJTFwoIN4mZLtYABpGhbuudTlSOx35cAHYUrvcaCR0f_yn8lNogq66aWA3hy75iwSnYlXdRgybW-FS7qb4EoDSudjquHzIpF5BwHXJb_y9JxD1AE/s1600/IMG_5167.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPnXCMc-G9Q2VMbNpIMBsuEnDp1oNvJTFwoIN4mZLtYABpGhbuudTlSOx35cAHYUrvcaCR0f_yn8lNogq66aWA3hy75iwSnYlXdRgybW-FS7qb4EoDSudjquHzIpF5BwHXJb_y9JxD1AE/s640/IMG_5167.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">friend #3</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">that same week i heard from devin. she was part of the baseball crew and wanted in on a photo session. i was in heaven. i could not have asked for a more beautiful family. mom and dad are gorgeous and have 3 adorable boys that kept myself and my assistant, sandra on our toes. they even brought their two grandmas in for some of the fun.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirSV8bnaokhK2o-STvUphjYxze8jW-sdEiYsQ62v148WM4tacsvsqLkV7WTsbNlGCB2QlxcVnjLftWx_VtOeUuJ9xXQM4Hu-Wh6k775G43HJpogUC_OlnuG74Aym8oOxZKGS8eEgKj590/s1600/3boysaside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="404" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirSV8bnaokhK2o-STvUphjYxze8jW-sdEiYsQ62v148WM4tacsvsqLkV7WTsbNlGCB2QlxcVnjLftWx_VtOeUuJ9xXQM4Hu-Wh6k775G43HJpogUC_OlnuG74Aym8oOxZKGS8eEgKj590/s640/3boysaside.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">when do parents with 3 boys ever get any time alone? <i>rarely</i>.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuLY5b6Nv3Ani5xAXXreL9rHJ5VQbcv4Bu1mxemT7oOncpMo88UR7JNPnH066NJIPpRXI-cNic-Sa49FpqOHe0t0MG-Q5XB75IyJcOpuNFlni83KEyDDMo2oYEsxFrGHqnz5DopynGoL4/s1600/baby+truck+w-sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="465" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuLY5b6Nv3Ani5xAXXreL9rHJ5VQbcv4Bu1mxemT7oOncpMo88UR7JNPnH066NJIPpRXI-cNic-Sa49FpqOHe0t0MG-Q5XB75IyJcOpuNFlni83KEyDDMo2oYEsxFrGHqnz5DopynGoL4/s640/baby+truck+w-sun.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this little angel playing peek-a-boo</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Er1-BWwZurrgMNr5t6-sI1w4-l2g27gizjeuLuQdXVMRQ6DBaW3Lc_tNLQPDDzh5dNHmuA5nBvJRvdNQjwvRBzKI2bM89XjhqI_kVc_ybQ65_1ect2Vtc9ZWIJiflvpiRLFzIxU5Jsg/s1600/devin+and+man4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Er1-BWwZurrgMNr5t6-sI1w4-l2g27gizjeuLuQdXVMRQ6DBaW3Lc_tNLQPDDzh5dNHmuA5nBvJRvdNQjwvRBzKI2bM89XjhqI_kVc_ybQ65_1ect2Vtc9ZWIJiflvpiRLFzIxU5Jsg/s640/devin+and+man4.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> a striking couple - they were sure to have handsome boys!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">devin and family - you all were incredible to photograph. thank you for giving me the opportunity. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i loved what we captured for your family. your boys are all so handsome and were such good sports during our time together. the two grandmas were super cool to hang out with, too. these boys are lucky to have some strong women in their lives and a really cool dad. hope the new year is good to you and hope to see all of you real soon. XO</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuygSb83z8NWSm1XMBuC-mzOd8DsI_H-7FSZqHdPeICJhpVNlx9dMMPN5uubIlywZ_Wl0semHQMJAn6dCe8RBDVpGpJyW9xG1bMsx1PEde46n9v1WTr6fuhoTczpIkUivZPRdYGaHyjVU/s1600/middleboy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuygSb83z8NWSm1XMBuC-mzOd8DsI_H-7FSZqHdPeICJhpVNlx9dMMPN5uubIlywZ_Wl0semHQMJAn6dCe8RBDVpGpJyW9xG1bMsx1PEde46n9v1WTr6fuhoTczpIkUivZPRdYGaHyjVU/s640/middleboy.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">such a cutie - i had to showcase his shiner. it's what being a boy is all about!</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyUpCxbgbtWsI6_gZ-9xKqfOhxRBBBkVTilhTTDzr9k6IYVz6wePP-I2qc0ceSoEocmhEiibZvS9GH9E0vXMtUywXYeCg_W7dGx2f8j_JRKWLdDgI44Qive8S64T8UkEAUSRYDKYy9QPA/s1600/IMG_7128.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyUpCxbgbtWsI6_gZ-9xKqfOhxRBBBkVTilhTTDzr9k6IYVz6wePP-I2qc0ceSoEocmhEiibZvS9GH9E0vXMtUywXYeCg_W7dGx2f8j_JRKWLdDgI44Qive8S64T8UkEAUSRYDKYy9QPA/s640/IMG_7128.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuQ5w2BO4uuc1wYBYUnj3gek5O3yl6jkmr7bMLnjcpy_bfGYzqznY-BCxi3dLR_sEAB_Y2CqZQdC_Znr_NjrRtFMrDA7wWmoUxoj2g1RtmQheDZ9QvGpBq1lOMfvGgWXnvjg2F_5QB5DE/s1600/boysand2gmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuQ5w2BO4uuc1wYBYUnj3gek5O3yl6jkmr7bMLnjcpy_bfGYzqznY-BCxi3dLR_sEAB_Y2CqZQdC_Znr_NjrRtFMrDA7wWmoUxoj2g1RtmQheDZ9QvGpBq1lOMfvGgWXnvjg2F_5QB5DE/s640/boysand2gmas.jpg" width="465" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">these boys have two of the coolest grandmas around!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i was fortunate enough to have had a busy holiday season for photo sessions. these are only a couple of the sessions and more will be posted in the coming weeks. in addition to the photo sessions that were scheduled, the best part of the holidays was seeing the cards come in the mailbox with pictures i had taken. what an experience. i loved every one of them! XO aj</span><br />
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<br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-34954008221722443662011-11-18T05:52:00.001-08:002011-11-18T06:29:51.901-08:00Bledstein Family: In Between Raindrops<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyK6Y3khAjF_y8QAMLQNx_ojBTmwlK64ut9iSCKJLZ9gEWBofUGb_xcPou43v7-FXvWjBvB9ymSjDTd2CgCCtqhyphenhyphenyJ-cAmzQWgQmkPFoPIYE_QWOb40PXyaBo8gIfOcoonyuukg0cQq4E/s1600/IMG_9337.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyK6Y3khAjF_y8QAMLQNx_ojBTmwlK64ut9iSCKJLZ9gEWBofUGb_xcPou43v7-FXvWjBvB9ymSjDTd2CgCCtqhyphenhyphenyJ-cAmzQWgQmkPFoPIYE_QWOb40PXyaBo8gIfOcoonyuukg0cQq4E/s640/IMG_9337.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">bledstein family: in between raindrops</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this weather has been crazy but i love it. the cool fall weather and rain actually make southern california feel like we are experiencing some seasons. yay!! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my friend and her family took a chance with me and we danced in between raindrops one afternoon. i am so glad we did. we had a blast and captured some great shots. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the morning we were supposed to meet, it was pouring rain. we kept in contact all afternoon and had our fingers crossed that the clouds would part - even if just for a little while. about an hour before we were scheduled to meet i called my friend: "do you want to meet? i asked her. "i'll leave it up to you." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">by then it was lightly sprinkling. she lived close to where we were going to shoot pictures. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"it is clear here. let's go for it!" she said.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">she was right. the sprinkling stopped just as i pulled up and parked to meet her. i could not believe it. the clouds gave us some great cover and we set off for a walk with her family.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">everything about our surroundings screamed: FALL! the colors, the crisp smell of rain and wet leaves on the trees. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">it was perfect. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWu9gvyQDofQW4yz8YEheNrZwJvAoO8y9TlMfXArCI02ZO5V2ORosr8xsjBdCqvdKqDAza_bFTK-HejK6AfWwDO4BNgvunYwHzyExa3ukQdYKNTcCJPr4d-UEBKZror1XA3AwZvdpIDQ/s1600/IMG_9247.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWu9gvyQDofQW4yz8YEheNrZwJvAoO8y9TlMfXArCI02ZO5V2ORosr8xsjBdCqvdKqDAza_bFTK-HejK6AfWwDO4BNgvunYwHzyExa3ukQdYKNTcCJPr4d-UEBKZror1XA3AwZvdpIDQ/s640/IMG_9247.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the whole family</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZpnQHxCISQCQdEOlr4IA93wJbORQ0WLtI5XfwpqKUUu3VirqF0IEsBBZG2whnM_dXZUTdvmzQn9AG0c9BvGIWerKhc8Effxj3LocVQg-sE0og8iqONkd1DrVnD7sRqQ-w0dQcV800Lo/s1600/IMG_8955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZpnQHxCISQCQdEOlr4IA93wJbORQ0WLtI5XfwpqKUUu3VirqF0IEsBBZG2whnM_dXZUTdvmzQn9AG0c9BvGIWerKhc8Effxj3LocVQg-sE0og8iqONkd1DrVnD7sRqQ-w0dQcV800Lo/s640/IMG_8955.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i love this shot of the girls playing in the tunnel</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">emily and family: thank you. i loved everything about our time together that afternoon. i loved your girls' spirits. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i loved your willingness to dance between raindrops with me. i loved the opportunity to capture some fun memories for your family and i look forward to our time together again.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">xoxo amanda jane</span></div>
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-45379596871368558092011-11-07T11:38:00.000-08:002011-11-07T11:38:58.001-08:00chapter 9: you might be a leper if....<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the weekend came and i felt confident. i was feeling pretty good, physically - better than a couple months ago- i was just tired. exhausted, actually but i had to push through. i had things to do. places to go and people to see. most importantly, my family. my son had turned 5 and we had family coming over for dinner to celebrate. i also had a couple of photo shoots scheduled that i was excited about. lots to look forward to and no time to feel "ick."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the rash progressed. it became a fiery hot mess. every time i stepped outside i could literally feel myself burning. it felt like i was burning from the inside out. i would have to step into the shade if i was out in the sunlight. it didn't matter if the temperature was up or not; my internal thermometer was on a constant BOIL. this made outdoor activities very uncomfortable. the weather was still quite warm but i came to the conclusion that i would have to cover up: jeans, long sleeve (light weight/ breath-able cotton) shirts,with socks and closed-toe shoes. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the rash began on my hands and feet - specifically my knuckles and between my toes. it also covered my torso, back and face. it showed up in red welts -almost like someone had laid a piece of red lace over my white skin and you could see through it. i felt like a leper. it was spreading and by monday of that week was beginning to itch.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">again, i called my lupus doctor in los angeles who recommended increasing my prednisone and using a benadryl cream on the itchy sections of the rash. what they didn't understand, or maybe i didn't convey well enough was that my<b> ENTIRE</b> body itched. from the inside-out.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">by mid-week my pulse raced sporadically and my heart pounded in my chest. occasionally i had to stop what i was doing, close my eyes and take a deep breath - in through the nose and out through the mouth. just like in yoga. while breathing slowly, i counted to ten and brought my heart rate back down. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>this cannot be right. what is going on?</i> i wondered. only 2 more days until i returned to see my lupus doctor. i had also begun a diary of-sorts. i had printed up a calendar to make notes on each day as i experienced different symptoms. this would make it easier for me to give my doctor specifics about my condition.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my skin had began to peel - in the places where it had been red and welty before. <i>[gross alert!]</i> i could feel the rash on the inside of my mouth. along the inside of my top lip, the skin was raw as it scraped against my teeth. my neck looked like a fiery, red lizard. it was scaly. boy, did it itch. i restrained from digging my fingernails into that fresh skin and grading it up.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">october 14th - the day of my follow up appointment with the lupus doctor in los angeles. once again, grandma was gracious enough to take care of our kiddos. my hubby and i made the trek in to los angeles. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we arrived early for my appointment and were immediately called into the doctor's office.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"have a seat and the doctor will be right in." said his assistant, motioning to the 2 chairs facing a large desk.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my husband and i each took a seat. we exchanged glances. i raised my eyebrows to him as if to ask: "i wonder what's going on?" and he shrugged his shoulders as if to answer:"i don't know."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a few minutes later the doctor walked in.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"hello, amanda." he said walking over to sit down but before i could answer he continued "i am perplexed."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"perplexed?" i asked.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i am perplexed by you." once again my husband and i exchanged glances (him:huh?/ me:i dunno)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"okay.....?" i questioned.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"all of your tests have returned negative. your EKG looks great. your chest x-ray was clear and your blood work is negative." he explained. "i do not want to diagnose you as having lupus because it could create problems for you down the road. problems with life insurance, mortgage insurance etc."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">oh gosh... i became worried. i hadn't even thought about that! i panicked slightly but kept listening to what he was saying. the whole time he talked, i scribbled notes on a piece of paper and he stared at me. well kind of... he was staring at my chest. any other time, i would've stopped him and told him to look me in the eyes while talking to me. this time was different. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"let me see you hands." he said. i stretched my arms across his desk."if i were to diagnose you simply by looking at you, i would tell you that you have lupus. clearly there is an autoimmune problem going on here." and he motioned at my hands, neck and chest. he sat quietly for a moment looking at me. not really looking at me, but thinking about what to do with me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i want a dermatologist to biopsy that rash you have." i shuttered at those words. it sounded like it would be painful and i have always associated the word "biopsy" with <b><i>cancer</i></b>.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" if i can get you an appointment with a dermatologist today, are you able to go see him?"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"yes." both my husband and i nodded our heads.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the doctor got up and left the office. ten minutes later he returned with the name, address and driving directions to his dermatologist.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">he handed me the paperwork. "here's the information. he said he can see you in 20 minutes."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">just like that, we were off to beverly hills. the office was barely 4 miles away but it took us all 20 minutes to get over there with the crazy traffic. there was some good people watching along the way. los angeles - especially beverly hills - is awesome reality tv. i tried not to be self conscious about not wearing make up. normally i put my face on when i go out,but i had wanted the doctor to be able to see the rash clearly for my appointment. now looking at all these beautiful, plastic people around me i wished i had at least put on some mascara. i reached into my purse for some lip gloss. that would make me feel better. </span><br />
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-79868790325203864812011-11-04T11:23:00.000-07:002011-11-17T08:03:52.186-08:00Pick Your Own Pumpkin Patch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9BZTeb0LoXsoWCMWQNyCMUIWYGQsoet_ymzLkdDDCRQaZ4fTz6VMDbrroCiiAxnrCt4vL687OL6zEKt6hfDBzV1VAY1LtJLe7E8qbsZxWouQTbCrBiPlMWHhQsZaLwcwu56qPHALn92E/s1600/IMG_1555+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9BZTeb0LoXsoWCMWQNyCMUIWYGQsoet_ymzLkdDDCRQaZ4fTz6VMDbrroCiiAxnrCt4vL687OL6zEKt6hfDBzV1VAY1LtJLe7E8qbsZxWouQTbCrBiPlMWHhQsZaLwcwu56qPHALn92E/s640/IMG_1555+%25281%2529.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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pick your own pumpkin patch. i was hoping to find one this year and a friend turned me onto a great <a href="http://coronapumpkinfarm.com/">local farm</a>. i have vivid memories of picking my own pumpkin as a kid. wandering through a huge, open patch and finding just the right pumpkin to carve for halloween. i wanted to give my kiddos that same experience and make some memories with them. </div>
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i loaded up my kiddos and some of their buddies joined us. we headed over to <a href="http://coronapumpkinfarm.com/">corona pumpkin farm</a> and had an adventure. if you take a drive over the hill off cajalco parkway to gavilan road, the farm is up on the hill. it is family-owned and i was thrilled to find it. this is exactly what i had envisioned. along the way we discovered another small farm off of el sobrante road with not only pumpkins, but all kinds of fresh vegetables. the kids loved it. my friend and i enjoyed vine ripened tomatoes, cucumbers, avocados and squash. i can't wait to go back. the farm is open year round. if the farmer is not at the location, he works on an "honor system." this made me love the farm even more. you can take whatever yummy goodies you'd like and leave your money in the mailbox. </div>
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we took this opportunity to dress up for the occasion - ok, well the girls loved that we wanted to dress them up and use this outing as an opportunity for more thematic photos. who doesn't need sparkle shoes and a tutu for the pumpkin patch??? i wish i had one to wear. my friend from t<a href="http://www.tutulewstutus.com/#!__fron">utulew's tutu's </a>made gianna's halloween themed tutu and she wore that thing everywhere. gianna also had black fairy wings that her bff, emma wore. too cute! love these girls. (note: you will see my girl in many different <a href="http://www.tutulewstutus.com/#!__front">tutus</a>, she loves to wear them every day of the week. it's a good thing i've got a friend in the business.)</div>
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it was a warm - no, let me be honest - it was a HOT october afternoon with temperatures so high that it felt like we were picking pumpkins in the middle of summer. the kids didn't mind. they were content to run around the farm and explore. the farmer was so helpful. he talked with them about when the pumpkins are planted, how they grow and the different varieties of pumpkins. he also told us green pumpkins make the best tasting pies!</div>
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the <a href="http://coronapumpkinfarm.com/activities/">corona pumpkin farm</a> offers a variety of small animals for the kids to pet. this was a great educational experience for them. my little girl couldn't get enough of the baby chicks. she kept picking them up - usually by their head. i must have said: "be gentle. don't squeeze the chicks" 500 times. it's all part of the adventure, right? (no baby chicks were harmed during our adventure.) and this how my little people are going to learn. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">don't you love her glasses?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my littles at <a href="http://coronapumpkinfarm.com/">corona pumpkin patch</a></td></tr>
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i was really excited about our pumpkin adventure. we had fun with our friends. we picked our own pumpkins right out of the patch. and we supported a local business right here in the community where we live. yep, that's pretty awesome. we look forward to our return to the farm. i hear they'll be growing blackberries soon... YUM! </div>
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-18820535820957161102011-10-30T15:11:00.000-07:002011-10-30T15:11:57.623-07:00teper family: there is more than one way to create a family<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhApqe-m_ZhkEWrNB8RWkgd2gNaZ13ycKdbb-iWoiRZgiJdW3wzBOLgAh7oUZSnUfoD13Th3T4cqO3wM4ZzK2NWfvSK7g-1HWuM2Gk4jey9J5QHhZK-4KVWAwQzu5AbERYq6nrP7iOGkAk/s1600/kim+%2526+tammie+26_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="442" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhApqe-m_ZhkEWrNB8RWkgd2gNaZ13ycKdbb-iWoiRZgiJdW3wzBOLgAh7oUZSnUfoD13Th3T4cqO3wM4ZzK2NWfvSK7g-1HWuM2Gk4jey9J5QHhZK-4KVWAwQzu5AbERYq6nrP7iOGkAk/s640/kim+%2526+tammie+26_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">there is more than one way to create a family. adoption is one of the ways families are created. adoption is the legal process that allows someone to become a parent of a child,even though they may not related by blood. in reality, adoption is much,much more.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">opening your heart and your home to a child is one of the most generous things anyone could ever do. the teper family is hoping for the opportunity. they are on the bumpy and often emotional roller coaster ride known as adoption. they are opening themselves and their family up and hoping for a chance to expand their crew.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">being a parent is a <i>self-less</i> career. parenting (<b>good</b> parenting) requires your full attention, full-time. the demand of children can be all-consuming, but SO worth it. being a parent is also one of the most amazing privileges you commit to. as a parent you witness small miracles every day.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">marisa
told me about their decision to adopt. she told me her family has to
assemble a profile and package for prospective parents to look at. the
package needs to tell their story and express why they want to adopt a child.
pictures should be included in their packet. we set a date, got her man
and her son together at the park and shot some pictures. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">my wish is for the teper family to be selected for an adoption - <i>soon</i>. my wish is for the prospective parent to see what a loving and warm environment their baby could be raised in. these 3 have a strong bond and would be delighted to make their crew a family of 4. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">dave works hard to provide a good life for his family. marisa is a full-time, hands-on mom who helps coach her son's baseball team. cameron is a quiet boy, incredibly intelligent and kind. he will be a terrific big brother. any child will be blessed to grow up in their home and be protected by their hearts. good luck to all of you this journey. xox aj</span></div>
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-54989580159199784682011-10-28T09:22:00.000-07:002011-10-28T09:22:14.440-07:00my boy turned 5<div style="text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 years old!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my boy turned 5 at the beginning of the month. where has the time gone? when he was a baby - and he was my first - i used to sit and watch him all day. my husband would come home from work and ask how my day was/ what did i do? my answer: "i sat and stared at our son." watching him was the best reality tv show there was. and it still is.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">his personality is interesting. i love seeing how he is growing, changing and finding himself. his journey is starting out in this big world and he has a long road ahead. i pray that his father and i are teaching him the right tools, giving him enough strength and offering the love he needs to grow into a good man. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this boy has traits and characteristics from both my husband and i. i am a little biased, but i think he is quite handsome. :) he is smart. he is sweet. he is sensitive. he loves his mama and is a good big brother to his little sister. </span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">don't get me wrong, they fight and bicker like the best of them, but that is part of the game when you have siblings. that is WHY you have siblings, right? to learn how to deal with people. he is learning to deal - every day. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-JsI_GODrM9T7u-5P7J-qd4ABKBzluUM2IT_6GjQahLpdXDp_pOwayIlp0lCY8hzuYtv6IkYjuQOTj55tpvx7GZI5Dn9CqzMgGznw3-wDWm4ST30P1LYvzePkwFpCcRPzRvG3bekGNU/s1600/nico+bday+enhanced4_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc-JsI_GODrM9T7u-5P7J-qd4ABKBzluUM2IT_6GjQahLpdXDp_pOwayIlp0lCY8hzuYtv6IkYjuQOTj55tpvx7GZI5Dn9CqzMgGznw3-wDWm4ST30P1LYvzePkwFpCcRPzRvG3bekGNU/s640/nico+bday+enhanced4_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">doing his homework. he loves to do homework. fingers crossed that doesn't change. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wap6jEi0PYzbuO3PmWYU2eUuV2XuRa2SouNJN9jEYnqsKw_m41mhQR-JFwzHN7XpNXq1gvlT_QAv-q2whRZpm7QZ_WdxXU1iAchfvVb_Ng4Y_4-5dYZtHiHCXqeXYim_eiNCnAiLe0Q/s1600/nico+bday+enhanced5_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6wap6jEi0PYzbuO3PmWYU2eUuV2XuRa2SouNJN9jEYnqsKw_m41mhQR-JFwzHN7XpNXq1gvlT_QAv-q2whRZpm7QZ_WdxXU1iAchfvVb_Ng4Y_4-5dYZtHiHCXqeXYim_eiNCnAiLe0Q/s640/nico+bday+enhanced5_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">nico and his cousin playing their video games. notice he cannot tear his eyes away from the screen even to have a quick photo taken.</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">in our house, birthdays are special. they are special because of who and what we are celebrating. my goal as a mother is to make sure my kiddos know i love them and am here to support them. i use their birthdays as a way to show them how grateful we are for the day that they were born.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my husband believes it's important to show each other how special they are every day of the year - not just one day. my husband and i also feel strongly that it is easy for children to get a warped sense of what a birthday party is all about. too often these days it is about the presents and material possessions. like when i was growing up, we have an every-other-year rule in our home. we do not host a huge party each time one of us celebrates a birthday. last year was my son's turn to have a party and he invited a handful of his friends over for an afternoon of fun and games. this year he did not have huge, over-the-top celebration. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we took cupcakes to school for his classmates and made little goodie bags with some treats for them. he got to wear a birthday crown at school and be the line-leader (hey, that's a big deal at preschool.)</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC-mL8GFV1o66TIBORfHVHaKRzzWyp0Z3ewbSzxkj9yI4s167wx2HWWTWqkRR1kdXfkm5U8lyX6YDWLxZbG9lVl1KYvXQ8ZXxpr7olBjxmncpMfsKNB5EUhl750vhdjQ4pbAu8Z8URH_s/s1600/nico+bday+enhanced6_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC-mL8GFV1o66TIBORfHVHaKRzzWyp0Z3ewbSzxkj9yI4s167wx2HWWTWqkRR1kdXfkm5U8lyX6YDWLxZbG9lVl1KYvXQ8ZXxpr7olBjxmncpMfsKNB5EUhl750vhdjQ4pbAu8Z8URH_s/s640/nico+bday+enhanced6_wm.jpeg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">uncle brian enjoying some homemade pizza - YUMMY!</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we also invited our immediate family over for a fun night of homemade pizza making and wii video games. my son was in heaven. he was surrounded by those who love him and he got to play his favorite video game. what more could a 5 year old want -right? this also gave the rest of our family a chance to have an evening together. that is always a good thing.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqHcYozDeGS7lSoNZUrybfAW02LgFmjot05bUcKC6Jx0cA1yqMknPxHY0JP_20-a5ditTx5CI3AlEeNcAGi3OtraokM8F1MsPBZ5_JevinrcPLhk8wEZwXlXTgwB7q8xtSpiCP2r2gsfA/s1600/nico+bday+enhanced7_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqHcYozDeGS7lSoNZUrybfAW02LgFmjot05bUcKC6Jx0cA1yqMknPxHY0JP_20-a5ditTx5CI3AlEeNcAGi3OtraokM8F1MsPBZ5_JevinrcPLhk8wEZwXlXTgwB7q8xtSpiCP2r2gsfA/s640/nico+bday+enhanced7_wm.jpeg" width="508" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">make a wish!<br /></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">nico, i wish you a very happy birthday. i hope you enjoyed your day and know that everyone who was here to celebrate with us loves you very much. i am proud of you and what an amazing young man you are turning into. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">happy birthday, son. i love you!! xoxo</span></span><br />
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<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-61508888715647758982011-10-25T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-25T08:33:48.610-07:00chapter 7: here comes the sun<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"here comes the sun. little darling"</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"here comes the sun. and i say: it's alright...."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we had a great day at the air show. everyone was worn out; hot, sweaty and tired by the time we got home but it was a good day. a fun day.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">less than 24 hours later i knew something had changed. the burning in my chest was constant, now combined with a warmth in my throat. a few of my smaller joints (wrists & fingers) along with my neck and shoulders were irritated and sore. the pinkie finger on my left hand and the big toe on my left foot presented a slight red, bumpy rash. by the following day there was a rosy, red rash on both hands, my neck, chest, trunk and lips. the rash was not uncomfortable but it was not attractive. additionally i was experiencing heart palpitations and a rapid pulse rate.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it should also be noted here that i had called my original rheumatologist two times and left 2 separate messages. i explained in my messages why i had called and expressed concern about some side affects from the medication he had prescribed. no callback was ever received. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">finally on thursday, october 6 the rash now covered my face: nose & cheeks, ears, it was inside of my mouth and made it difficult to swallow food. my lips and hands were dried, cracked and bleeding in some spots. the burning in my chest was constant and fierce. i knew something was wrong and i was scared. a 3rd and final phone message was left with my original doctor. at the urging of my mother, i called the lupus doctor in los angeles. i had not been seen by this doctor yet but had an appointment with him for the following day. i was desperate and dialed his office number. his staff answered and immediately transferred me to his assistant. when she answered,i could not believe it! i was talking to a real, live human being. i explained to her what was happening and asked what they could recommend.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"legally, we are not supposed to give medical advice to someone over the phone who has not been examined by the doctor." the assistant explained.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"i understand." i sighed and hung my head.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"but... if you were <i>our</i> patient, we would suggest you take 60mg of prednisone, use cortisone cream sparingly and we'll see you at your appointment tomorrow afternoon."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a huge smile crept across my face. "got it. thank you SO much. see you tomorrow." i was grateful for their read-between-the-lines advice.</span></span> <span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">shoot, i was just happy to have someone in a doctor's office take my call.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i took the extra prednisone and applied the cortisone cream. los angeles, here i come. i had a good feeling about this. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my husband - who was supposed to be my wing man for the la doctor's appointment fell ill. my mom graciously offered to come along with me. it was nice to have her company; i knew she had been worrying about me. i had hoped this long awaited appointment would give us both some peace of mind. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">my appointment was at noon and i was in an exam room at 12:05. within 30 minutes the doctor had come in, talked with me, he had taken notes and examined me. the staff had collected blood, urine, run an ekg on my heart and were sending me across the street for a chest x-ray. i liked this "WOW" service! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i smiled at my mom and she mouthed "i like this guy" back to me. we definitely shared the same feeling.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the doctor entered the exam room one last time.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"amanda, this is what you are going to do." he began.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i sat up and immediately took note. he was speaking my language. i followed instructions. remember - i was a good soldier,so i was ready to take notes as he read me my orders.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"i want to see you next week when i will have the results from these tests back." the doctor continued. "in the mean time you are going to take the medications you are on currently. once i get the results back, we will probably modify your medications."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">i can do that. no problem. i had questions; i had a whole list of them. but they could wait. he probably would not be able to answer most of them until he had my test results in his hand.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">when my mom and i exited the office,staff met us at the front desk and gave us our appointment card for exactly one week later. there were not any questions about whether or not i was available or if that time worked for me. honestly, it didn't work for me at all. i had to clear a busy afternoon but i could have cared less. this took priority. i actually looked forward to my return visit. even though we were leaving with questions unanswered, i felt good. i felt confident that i was in competent hands. </span></span></div>
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</div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-43197333757850025412011-10-24T06:30:00.000-07:002011-10-24T07:21:58.238-07:00oak glen: raspberry picking at the apple farm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrmsCauFVbPvBANO9qGCzwek3bkIIyEXQ6wgsxieNjzPzGH1mTYDxq0QAwM686JAzXQ2XKGB-2olS9imhKkHyk034ZculFE-fUak3Hoz5eZmlSbEcKO8vrriz1Cmhyphenhyphenhz2F7voSGEIvZz4/s1600/berrie+pickingt_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrmsCauFVbPvBANO9qGCzwek3bkIIyEXQ6wgsxieNjzPzGH1mTYDxq0QAwM686JAzXQ2XKGB-2olS9imhKkHyk034ZculFE-fUak3Hoz5eZmlSbEcKO8vrriz1Cmhyphenhyphenhz2F7voSGEIvZz4/s640/berrie+pickingt_wm.jpeg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">yes, we went raspberry picking at an apple farm in oak glen. my littles were confused too, but we had fun any way. my girlfriend and i loaded up our kiddos and made the drive out to yucaipa. they were all excited and couldn't wait for this new adventure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">i love this time of year when the chapter of summer is coming to a close and fall starts to creep in. i can almost smell the change in the air and feel it in my bones. fall is one of my favorites seasons; halloween is a holiday i love to have lots be creative with.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMbGy7NZmCrsgIqGeXzrP8BDjehmJGAfmmWrkMVC6IRdTQvsr3M0dKTbH6i88xUkIV-3ilY7EiFvWS_BCsoXgbY11xXzOQ3WmwntV2T6inEuMB4-m-Iicd6kJ3ckGjnuGcrcK_LeIFBvE/s1600/4kids_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMbGy7NZmCrsgIqGeXzrP8BDjehmJGAfmmWrkMVC6IRdTQvsr3M0dKTbH6i88xUkIV-3ilY7EiFvWS_BCsoXgbY11xXzOQ3WmwntV2T6inEuMB4-m-Iicd6kJ3ckGjnuGcrcK_LeIFBvE/s640/4kids_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">oak glen is about an hour east of where we live. whenever i go there, it feels like i am in another state. i love it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there is a cluster of farms that harvest fruit, vegetables and all kinds of tasty treats throughout the year.</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">on weekends some of the farms host special events and activities that are perfect for families. our kiddos were looking forward to doing some apple picking in early october. </span></span> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvSPMchVQ4KwkAtT0kHojlu6ZAtQgumN0q-MtCFzDmWXRkz96F-mtuwMpMR3t3xzVwXrURa12nZHin4YtckWU1C8Rz417Qs-mwFwJwsHlwujSJhVD84QU8lxR73RzXaffVWUfkSZ0eZ5w/s1600/berrie+picking_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvSPMchVQ4KwkAtT0kHojlu6ZAtQgumN0q-MtCFzDmWXRkz96F-mtuwMpMR3t3xzVwXrURa12nZHin4YtckWU1C8Rz417Qs-mwFwJwsHlwujSJhVD84QU8lxR73RzXaffVWUfkSZ0eZ5w/s640/berrie+picking_wm.jpeg" width="426" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSAy5rJ5b6vfoPKuSgNgMVRojjsk8EcMOWR6Ya4RWXfbGtCAJGKoYCcGu5zXG9uhhp_83kJnBezTZlvbGL8vuRAg-uMIq4YFUTkt2BODlYZN4A9PyGhLKi-mQzlPq0N76b06LNK1OJDg/s1600/teper_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSAy5rJ5b6vfoPKuSgNgMVRojjsk8EcMOWR6Ya4RWXfbGtCAJGKoYCcGu5zXG9uhhp_83kJnBezTZlvbGL8vuRAg-uMIq4YFUTkt2BODlYZN4A9PyGhLKi-mQzlPq0N76b06LNK1OJDg/s640/teper_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">it was a warm afternoon. we packed a lunch, some snacks and headed out. we figured the apple trees would provide plenty of shade for while we were picking. what we did not plan on was the farms were running low on apples. in fact, when we arrived we learned that we were not able to do <u>any</u> apple picking. mother nature had not been cooperative with their crops this season. the farms were only allowing apple picking on the weekends and we were visiting in the middle of the week. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">the look on the kid's faces was sad. my girlfriend and i exchanged worried looks. i could read her expression and it said: "did we really drive all the way out here NOT to pick apples?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"mom, i want to pick some apples." my little girl whined.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">the nice man at <a href="http://snow-line.com/">snow line orchard</a> quickly came up with a back-up plan for us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"you can pick some raspberries." he quickly offered up.<i> </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"raspberries?" i asked. i looked at my girlfriend with a relieved smile. <i></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i>whew!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">we gathered up some baskets and the nice man from the orchard pointed us toward the raspberry bushes that lined the property.<i> </i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we only spent a short time collecting raspberries. in fact the raspberries were eaten faster than they were collected. but who cares? it was all in good fun and the kids were loving it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we munched on our lunch at the picnic tables, under the big shady trees - the kids were full on fresh berries so it was a matter of us two moms trying to stuff food in our faces. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we used this opportunity to snap some thematic fall pics of our own little people. </span> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">notice my friend: crouching tiger, hidden mamarazzi. she is an amazing wing-man; i always have so much fun when i am with her and her family. my kiddos love her kiddos. they have an ease about their relationship much like their mom and i do. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">we took full advantage of the beautiful weather and inspiring location. we had a great day! i look forward to going back for another visit - soon.</span></span></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-23199703847157066992011-10-21T23:37:00.000-07:002011-10-21T23:37:21.294-07:00chapter 6: another day, another dollar<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">one of my favorite sayings is: "another day, another dollar." in this case, i was just happy to have another day. a fresh start. one that didn't include being sick to my stomach. i decided the sickness was due to the new medicine, stress and probably a few other things. i decided to alleviate as much stress as i could and take only the necessary medication. i refrained from taking the pain pills if i didn't need them. this seemed to do the trick and i was no longer sick. <i>thank goodness!</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">i also noticed my over-all body pain was diminishing. i was sore in places, specifically the connective tissue areas and small joints in my wrists, ankles, toes and fingers. but i was beginning to feel better. the swelling had also gone down in my joints. i continued with the clean diet, acupuncture once a week and yoga when i could fit it in. i found comfort in the fact that i was once again in charge of my own domain. my kids were back on their usual routine: school, dance, hockey, nap time, etc. it was me who was driving them around, bathing them, packing their lunches and putting them to bed. i felt good to be moving around again. i wasn't 100%, but i was better.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">we got into a <i>new</i> routine. got up in the morning, took my medications and started my day. i worked an occasion shift here and there - maybe 15-20 hours a week. but my primary focus was on my health and my family. it felt good. i often times stopped to ask myself whether someone was trying to send me a message. was this their way of telling me to slow down? my yoga instructor once said "slow down, whatever you're racing to catch up with just might catch up with you." so true. i laughed out loud when she said that in class and shook my head. she was so right.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">something i noticed right away was the way my body felt being on these new medications. within a week of taking the plaquenil i began to notice a burning sensation in my chest. it would appear in the late afternoons. almost like i was smoking a cigarette and the smoldering, heated carcinogenic smoke filled the top of my lungs. it burned and it scared me a little bit. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">there was the insomnia. prednisone is a stimulant. with 2 young children at home, i woke up <i>(or was woken up)</i> early - around 6am, sometimes earlier. halfway through the day i would be physically exhausted. this is also where i learned what fatigue was all about. when my 2 year old napped, i tried to enjoy a little shut eye along with her. if i got a nap in the afternoon i found myself wide awake that night -usually until 4am. then up again with my littles at 6am. <i>wheww!</i> that was tough. thank god for some good coffee. my colleague often joked about how much stuff she used to get done when she was on prednisone. the rest of her family would be tucked in their beds and she would be working furiously. i was beginning to understand what she meant. the late night/ early morning hours was when i started blogging and editing my photos. at least this was comforting to me; at least i had an outlet; something positive to focus on. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">i watched the calendar like a hawk; noting each day what was happening and symptoms i was experiencing. i could not drink enough water. it was like i was a camel. the more i drank, the more the flames were stoked in my chest. my eyes, nose and mouth began to dry over up. chap stick and eye drops were a must and i never, ever left the house without a very large bottle of water - which was refilled often. my thirst was unquenchable. at least my kidneys were getting their workout. again, i was enjoying the freedom of having my mobility back and willing to put up the other stuff.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">on october 2nd i was feeling good. my whole family decided to go to the miramar air show down in san diego. this was a big deal for my family. my father is retired navy, 20+ years and my youngest brother is currently a staff sergeant in the marine corps. we are a military family and proud of it. my family - my mom and dad in particular - were a little worried about our planned outing, but i was excited. i felt confident that it would be fine; we would have a good time and most of all everyone would be together as a family. these are the things i treasured most. additionally we had ordered reserved seating and tickets ahead of time. what was the worst that could happen? if i got tired, there were reserved seats waiting for me. if we really had to, we could simply pack up the car and drive home but this was an outing i did not want to miss. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">the morning was beautiful; the sun was out early and it was getting warm. the family passed around sunscreen for everyone to use and most of us sat underneath umbrellas to keep the sun off of us. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">while walking into the air show my husband turned and said: "well i guess we're going to test your photo sensitivity today." it took me a minute to understand what he meant.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">i looked at him. "yeah, i guess so." i said and shrugged my shoulders. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">photo sensitivity or "abnormal" light sensitivity is a factor with lupus. i was about to get educated on this.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue',Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-25293484027010789862011-10-14T07:42:00.000-07:002011-10-14T07:42:55.058-07:00Ghesquiere: sounds like "Guess Choir"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">ghesquiere family : sounds like "guess choir"</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">that's how you say it. don't try to sound it out. if you're like me, you would have never been able to say it correctly. thank goodness karrie gave me this hint "guess choir." </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this family is gorgeous. aren't they? and they were SO fun. so comfortable and willing to let me click away while they goofed around and did their thing. we met at <a href="http://www.galleanowinery.com/">galleano winery</a> in mira loma and spent a wonderful afternoon together. my faithful wing man, sandra was with me and helped to entertain the girls when they were tired of having their pictures taken. before they got "tired", they were downright amazing. look at some of these...</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">beautiful jayden loves her daddy</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJBxMBWmkFNye9lhL8mxVLw65eFx1aaoVTFIQtia5tdeFph7zarstP8YG8pUW8ltKg08BNUuucUmlo7PEd1OshVkkoGQtWxyjQc0ftXLXfLchJeiP0JdjOGYAOrSKp9cxB7_jvmshJM88/s1600/ghesquierre+enhanced8_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJBxMBWmkFNye9lhL8mxVLw65eFx1aaoVTFIQtia5tdeFph7zarstP8YG8pUW8ltKg08BNUuucUmlo7PEd1OshVkkoGQtWxyjQc0ftXLXfLchJeiP0JdjOGYAOrSKp9cxB7_jvmshJM88/s640/ghesquierre+enhanced8_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i love these hearty laughs from these silly girls!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">payton - they call her "pj"<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this family's faith is solid. their love for each other runs deep. it is palpable when you are with them. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the girls are <i>good</i>. well behaved and so polite. but there's something more. they are warm and loving. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">just look at their little faces. jayden's eyes mesmerize me. it's like she is looking at my soul sometimes. and payton's cute little face. i want to eat it up. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">these girls are cute now and are going to be BE-AUTIFUL! why shouldn't they be?!? just check out their parents...</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj015HnbRqq_6vAkjV9gOphhWkzk4W8zAQfP_Tqi2rB3n50zVEnk5DASd8pMobTZXJ95LTgAKpBfTgYOQS7um8MCykUS71P8sdM_jCIrN6yoYTkFKAFfhXyIx2frMm4jt-P0DL0wey6Yg/s1600/ghesquierre+enhanced10_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj015HnbRqq_6vAkjV9gOphhWkzk4W8zAQfP_Tqi2rB3n50zVEnk5DASd8pMobTZXJ95LTgAKpBfTgYOQS7um8MCykUS71P8sdM_jCIrN6yoYTkFKAFfhXyIx2frMm4jt-P0DL0wey6Yg/s640/ghesquierre+enhanced10_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">love their smiles<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLdMNaxEO6f27rAtAeexMeVZP_uw9DQfzAeamX-donVJcSjXxF-DMSZ9QaIq0n2zryYZ_JqqDxdpO0xyrdKN0Atbbw1kidcj_PASo7T1luagvu8DoRjbXdVXbavnTztV52BwtC1h2ZBW0/s1600/ghesquierre+enhanced14_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLdMNaxEO6f27rAtAeexMeVZP_uw9DQfzAeamX-donVJcSjXxF-DMSZ9QaIq0n2zryYZ_JqqDxdpO0xyrdKN0Atbbw1kidcj_PASo7T1luagvu8DoRjbXdVXbavnTztV52BwtC1h2ZBW0/s640/ghesquierre+enhanced14_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i was fortunate enough to meet karrie and her girls at my daughter's dance class. i knew right away i was going to like karrie. her personality was similar to mine and so was her parenting style. we exchanged phone numbers and started meeting up for play dates with our kiddos. these are how friendships happen and i am so glad our friendship happened. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">karrie, pat and girls, thank you for rounding up your troops and meeting us at the g<a href="http://www.galleanowinery.com/">alleano winery</a> for a great afternoon. it has been truly a pleasure meeting all of you. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">sandra, once again - thanks for being the wind beneath my wings and helping me. I cherish your love and support. xoxo amanda jane</span><br />
<br /></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-66772752793618732142011-10-13T07:38:00.000-07:002011-10-13T07:38:23.541-07:00Life is a Beach: Kerr Family<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHKNEIoSbMrKkOed9Fw-h0kBmT9YKd7Er-E26bymMLxYWq-3q6yPloilewq5FAsARzhz00eJn-XrbefPcfhxttVR4PaebG4po75T7sW2IwPBp6eUeoVWxJqT5Wxhtjh7hrp_awxncH0c/s1600/duhon7_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyHKNEIoSbMrKkOed9Fw-h0kBmT9YKd7Er-E26bymMLxYWq-3q6yPloilewq5FAsARzhz00eJn-XrbefPcfhxttVR4PaebG4po75T7sW2IwPBp6eUeoVWxJqT5Wxhtjh7hrp_awxncH0c/s640/duhon7_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Life is a Beach: Kerr Family</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">for this beautiful family, life really is a beach. they love the sand. they love the water. they love the sun. they love their family time at the ocean. i love them and i loved hanging out with them at the beach.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">kim and i met at work several years ago and became fast friends. we worked in the same division, had the same interests and i was immediately drawn to kim's friendly disposition. she was so mellow and easy-going. i loved being around her positive energy. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHGJAczRlYLdgHhZa-fwvq2T30Iuq4-meZX8badImHCVxxD_3yy-kN2kF6Iln31OSu7UlGRRPHmNzJtOE0dWpxsWPEw88NLTR0Pv7RRpsKUAPwpT06bDrtblwT1Q7KrjwpzR_WHEqpso/s1600/duhon6_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFHGJAczRlYLdgHhZa-fwvq2T30Iuq4-meZX8badImHCVxxD_3yy-kN2kF6Iln31OSu7UlGRRPHmNzJtOE0dWpxsWPEw88NLTR0Pv7RRpsKUAPwpT06bDrtblwT1Q7KrjwpzR_WHEqpso/s640/duhon6_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">i love this one. <3</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJRguXC0sVI2yWmEqjO55aJEya0f9WnaK17C1ENrfj94v8Lrgc1CDguB3yn0oosthQW7WTLlZVIrihIj5zNUNLOZeIqhdgl4k_nHA16YcuiRnLnufJGePPCrbjEjRNX2czxw72UsOpWPY/s1600/duhon5_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="390" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJRguXC0sVI2yWmEqjO55aJEya0f9WnaK17C1ENrfj94v8Lrgc1CDguB3yn0oosthQW7WTLlZVIrihIj5zNUNLOZeIqhdgl4k_nHA16YcuiRnLnufJGePPCrbjEjRNX2czxw72UsOpWPY/s640/duhon5_wm.jpeg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we had to time this just right between the waves </td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">a few years ago, kim and her hubby decided to expand their family. along came DJ. he is a handsome boy, isn't he? DJ and my kiddos like to play together. i love that DJ and my kiddos are buddies and get along so well. it gives Kim and i even more of a reason to get together. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnmv4dNevNcDTJvOMKjPmVWc2Evt5ei8eRZMGS_b_huHLPWHzmg5Xq_NxJCfmCyYjpyW2ton_R7UCm4QOObcad3ZAa-rNNxp4_7zPQGF6OxmufkKZCq2fScMS-t8pORjIPKl2BgLIg3UQ/s1600/duhon2_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnmv4dNevNcDTJvOMKjPmVWc2Evt5ei8eRZMGS_b_huHLPWHzmg5Xq_NxJCfmCyYjpyW2ton_R7UCm4QOObcad3ZAa-rNNxp4_7zPQGF6OxmufkKZCq2fScMS-t8pORjIPKl2BgLIg3UQ/s640/duhon2_wm.jpeg" width="426" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">so handsome!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwWYa0brO8Yjk_4vrM6PTaS4kSZ5sy0GLdYkFtEHCba1vxKLz2iw4qgtuS7p0plQfrtntt4nMrkDVejLP3QU7ONV151lib2h_ofX01PeRGMn0txo2cC8BmZYOpZCHF0lg-3GUP_jXUxCo/s1600/duhon3_wm.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwWYa0brO8Yjk_4vrM6PTaS4kSZ5sy0GLdYkFtEHCba1vxKLz2iw4qgtuS7p0plQfrtntt4nMrkDVejLP3QU7ONV151lib2h_ofX01PeRGMn0txo2cC8BmZYOpZCHF0lg-3GUP_jXUxCo/s640/duhon3_wm.jpeg" width="350" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this boy dreams of being a fireman one day, just like his daddy</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">kim, i really appreciate you giving me the opportunity to photograph your beautiful family. I had a great time with you all at the beach. i appreciate that you were one of the first people to jump on my band wagon and support this new adventure of mine. thank you, my friend. i love you girl.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">xoxo amanda jane</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-47990165248272581012011-10-12T14:07:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:07:38.563-07:00chapter 5: high hopes<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">well the days dragged by. i tried to remain positive whenever people would ask me about my doctor's appointment and what was going on. i figured if i acted positive and put positive thoughts out there, positive is what was going to come back to me. right? i had high hopes.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">finally september 13th rolled around and my husband and i headed back to my rheumatologist for my follow up appointment. i had done just what the doctor ordered: i had taken the medication and gone to get my blood work. i had also made a list of questions. in my head, i secretly suspected he was going to tell me i had rheumatoid arthritis and was going to have to learn to live with it. in my head, i also assumed this was going to be the easier of the two options. for some reason lupus carried a much more heavier load for me.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we dropped the kids off with grandma again </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(thank you,grandma!)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> and arrived early for my 1:30pm appointment. this time, the doctor was practicing out of his own office in upland - near san antonio hospital. while sitting in the waiting room i looked around at the other patients who were waiting. it was obvious i was the youngest person in there by about 30+ years. it was also evident that the office had more important things to do rather than make sure they were running an efficient business. we listened to staff exchange shopping stories, watched them finish eating their lunch and even got to see a pair of red vinyl high heels the receptionist purchased that very afternoon. <i> tacky.</i> i believe in signs and this was not adding up to be a good sign. still: <i>think positive. think positive.</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">45 minutes later, we were finally called back to one of the examining rooms. the doctor came in shortly after and had a perplexed look on his face. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"hmm..." he says while looking at me. he was holding some paperwork in his hand. then he walked over and began to examine my arms, neck and legs.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"no rash?" he asked.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"no." i answer.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"well, your test results are inconclusive so i am going to diagnose you as borderline lupus."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>what? what is border line lupus?</i> my husband and i exchanged a confused look.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"even though you are presenting symptoms for rheumatoid arthritis, the blood work shows negative. you are only showing 3 markers for lupus. so i'm going to give you some medication that will take care of both." he explained. "i am going to put you on a low dose of prednisone and paquenil to help with the inflammation in your joints."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"wait a second. i have some concerns about these medications. i've done some reading and prednisone will eat away at my bones over time and paquenil can damage the retinas in my eyes." i questioned.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"almost never happens. you don't need to worry about that." he assured me. "take these medications and you will feel better."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i had more questions for this doctor. <i>think positive. think positive.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"what about sjogrens syndrome? was i tested for that?" i asked him.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"uhhh..... no, i don't see it here in your paperwork so i will need you to go back to the lab and have more blood drawn." he fumbled through the chart in his hand.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"ok. what about diet and nutrition? and exercise? - i've recently tried yoga. is there anything else i can be doing to better my situation and supplement the medications your prescribing?" i asked.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the doctor was getting irritated. "just eat healthy." he said. "i don't believe in yoga. i can write you a prescription for physical therapy and take the medications. you will feel better."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i could feel a lump beginning to form in my throat. there was no way i was going to allow this doctor to see me get upset. i swallowed it down hard and looked at my husband. his face said it all. he was getting frustrated with this guy too.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"why should she take those medications if their side effects are going to be as bad or worse than the disease?" my husband interjected.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i am just trying to give your wife some relief." the doctor explained. "take the medications and i will see you in 4 weeks." that was it. he was finished. it was time for us to leave.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i walked out of the office feeling frustrated, like none of my questions had been answered. i felt like i had such high hopes 2 hours before and now i was at a loss for words. ask anyone, i can usually talk until the paint comes off the walls but i sat in the passenger seat in silence.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"are you ok?" he asked , rubbing my shoulders. it wasn't a question. he knew i wasn't ok. he knew i was upset. "do you want to know what i think?" he paused briefly and i looked at him. "i think we need to go to LA and get a second opinion."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i shook my head yes in agreement.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"you know what else i think" he continued. "i think that doctor is used to having elderly patients come in to his office. he tells them what pills to take for their aches and pains and they do it. no questions asked. you come in today, young and full of questions and he didn't know what to do."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i shook my head yes again. what he was saying made sense. all of it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">we drove in silence to the pharmacy. the good patient in me was going to get my medications filled and take them as instructed. i stared out the window with that lump still sitting in my throat. it was too much. the tears came. i couldn't stop them. they poured out. the frustration, the anger, the disbelief. the fear. it all came to a head.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i sat in the car and composed myself while my husband went into the pharmacy. <i>screw this</i>, i thought. <i><b>i</b> am in control of what happens to <b>me</b>.</i> i dialed the rheumatology office phone number and made a call. i requested the receptionist (red vinyl shoe girl) make me a copy of my full chart and told her i would be back down in 10 minutes to pick it up. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the second call i made was to my coworker who has been battling lupus for 20 years. she gave me the name and phone number for her lupus doctor in los angeles. i phoned him and made an appointment. he could see me october 7th; i didn't care that it was 3 weeks away. i would take whatever i could get. (of course, i asked his assistant to phone me if any earlier appointments came available.) i was comforted to find an email waiting for me when i arrived home later from the lupus doctor in los angeles. the email was a confirmation of my appointment. attached were some patient forms for me fill out and take to the office. this email made me even more confident in my decision to get a second opinion. i was already feeling like the lupus doctor in los angeles at least had better communication skills than the previous rheumatologist i had seen. i took the second dose of my new medications and headed to bed; i was mentally and emotionally exhausted after a long day.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2 am and my eyes shot open. <i>oh no!</i> i threw the covers off the bed and ran to the bathroom, i barely made it in time before i got sick. i kept getting sick. over and over again until finally - around 6am - there was nothing left in my system to purge.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- on a side note, my husband works a position where he is on call 24 hours a day. unfortunately for him (and me) he got an emergency call and had to leave to go into work at 4am. the look on his face was dreadful. he did not want to go and leave me home alone, sick with 2 young children sleeping in their beds. but he also couldn't not go when he was called.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"i'll be fine." i assured him. already in my head i was planning on who i could call to help. thank goodness family lives close by and i've got some amazing girlfriends. a couple phone calls later, my son had a ride to school, my daughter had a play date with her bestie and i had a quiet, child-free house. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i fell back into bed and slept - HARD. like one of those sleeps where a mack truck could have run through the room and i would never have heard it. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i woke up around noon and felt like a new woman. after a hot shower, it was time to collect my children. that was easier said, than done with concerned girlfriends wanting to keep them all day. in all honesty, i just wanted to be with my people and they wanted to be with me. kids are funny. they sense when things are off. my kids, in particular, have become even more loving and are very worried about mommy. they walk up and give me kisses and ask: "does that make you feel better, mommy?" my 2 year old daughter walks up and will tell anyone who is listening: "my mommy doesn't feel good." my children know mommy is sick but they do not know all of the details of it. yet, they respond in such a loving way. i miss them when i'm not around them - even if it's just for a short time. every day i am reminded how amazing my children are. my son helps me with things and does things around the house that not many other 5 years have had to do. he must tell me 1,000 times a day that he loves me. he stops playing video games (this is huge, people!), puts down the remote and walks over to rub my arm or give me a hug. that is pretty incredible. these are the things that continue to keep my hopes and my spirits high.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6547525048914907646.post-61634972923687710092011-10-10T21:33:00.000-07:002011-10-10T21:33:46.064-07:00chapter 4: i craved "normal"<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">alright! enough dilly-dallying!! i need to get to it and catch up on my blog posts. so much has been happening that things are changing and progressing daily. whether you've been along for the ride or are just joining us, fasten your seat belt and hang on! i am about the press the virtual accelerator.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">august 19th finally arrived and my husband and i headed to what would be my first rheumatology appointment. after dropping the kids off at my mom's house we headed into the doctor's office. it wasn't exactly an office. it was a few extra rooms stuck onto the back of a physical therapy gym. but i didn't care. i was just happy to be there. we waited a few minutes then were called back by the nurse. the first thing she did was weigh me. 12 pounds lighter than i was at the beginning just by eating clean and stretching with light yoga. that was incredible to me! i couldn't believe it. a huge smile crept across my face and i looked at my husband with my mouth open wide. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"well, that was definitely worth it!" i said to him. a secret part of me was jumping for joy because i finally had lost enough weight that i weighed less than my skinny man. for some of you, this is not an issue. for me, it always has been. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">with that good news under my belt, i was ready to see the rheumatologist. he was an older gentleman with a gentle demeanor. of course i had 100 questions written down and began firing them off at him.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">he put his hands up at me. "wait wait wait." he says. "let's run some more tests and i will do a physical exam on you."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"okay." i say. i realize i can be quite the over-eager beaver. i was in his house, so to speak so i needed to do things his way. after all, he was the expert. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">after a quick physical exam - no gown needed, just kept the clothing on. he check to see how much of a grip i had in each hand and examined the rest of my body for any kind of lupus rash. he found minimal strength in my hands and no rash. he noted some minor swelling in the hands, fingers, wrist, ankles and toes.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"well," he begins. "you are presenting symptoms for both rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. you are only showing 3 signs of lupus and i won't officially diagnose you with lupus until you exhibit a 4th marker." (ie: the rash) "so i am going to give you a 7-pack of methylprednisone to take along with your celebrex and tramadol." this will help alleviate some of the inflammation in your joints. then i will need you to have another blood test done to see how your body has reacted to this medication."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">no problem. i can do that. give me instructions and i will be a good soldier. i follow orders when given.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"come back and see me in 3 weeks." and that was it. he did not have a reason why i was sick. but i felt a little better having somewhat of a direction to go in.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">my husband drove to the pharmacy to fill my new medication as i was very anxious to begin taking them. now, don't get me wrong. i had (still have) concerns about taking prednisone and some of the side affects of that medication but at this point in my journey, i just wanted some relief. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">well i got it. within hours of taking my first dose of methylprednisone, i felt a difference. this was good. this was really good. kinda of scary good because i was beginning to feel almost normal. and it was happening so quickly. a small part of me questioned how long this would last and what was really going on inside of my body. but most of me just appreciated the break from the pain. i understand very clearly why drug addicts crave that high. i craved feeling normal. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the first day i took 7 pills, the second day i took 6 pills, third day it was 5 pills and so on and so forth until the pills were gone and the week was up. being the dutiful student, i went to the lab and had my blood work completed. then waited for my follow up appointment. unfortunately, around day 5 i started to feel the "normalcy"fading away. like an addict, i became paranoid. oh no! what can i do to keep this high; to continue feeling normal? i had to talk myself down off the ledge several times. it's okay. it's only temporary. the doctor can give me more if i need it. i tried to concentrate on my clean diet, yoga, acupuncture, etc. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">in the meantime i had begun to feel well enough to return to my part-time job. thankfully, they are very flexible with my hours and allowed me to start my shift later than usual or only work a partial shift if i was having a rough time. i am forever grateful for my supervisors and coworkers' patience and understanding with this. it also helped that one of the ladies i work with has had lupus for over 20 years. she has been a wealth of knowledge and a comfort to me throughout this ordeal. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">i worked a couple of shifts, only about 6 hours at a time. i enjoyed the break and the change of scenery; i was tired of staring at the walls of my own home. i also relished the social interaction with my coworkers and the public. again, this helped me feel "normal." but it also kicked my butt. i was so dog-tired by the time i left work that i would drive home with drool dripping off my bottom lip. it was all i could do to get home, unfold out of the drivers seat and get into bed. the day after my shift was the worst. it would hit me like a ton of bricks and i would be fatigued to the bone. this was not me; amanda was used to going and doing 100 things at one time and not batting an eye. clearly that wasn't the case anymore. i learned quickly to clear my calendar and simplify my family's schedule.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">with one week to go before my follow up appointment at the rheumatologist office, i could not stand it anymore. the pain was back - full force. the inflammation had increased and i was frustrated. after a couple un-returned phone calls to the rheumatology office i decided to take drastic measures. i became a stalker. i called every hour, on the hour from the time the office opened until the time they closed until someone would speak to me. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"please, is there anything you can do for me?" i begged the doctor's assistant. " i was feeling so good on the metylprednisone and now i feel worse. i still have one week to go before i come back in to see you." </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">the doctor agreed to have his assistant call in a refill for the 7-pack of the methylprednisone to my local pharmacy for pickup. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"thank you SO much!" the relief swept over me and i made sure i was waiting at the pharmacy pick up window an hour later. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this time, the "high" was not as dramatic. i felt a difference when i began taking the medication again. but not as strong as the first time. DAMN! that's ok, i told myself. at least it made you feel a little better. it did. i was able to fulfill my obligations for the weekend with my photographer/friend and work a couple of shifts at my part-time job. it got me through and i for that, i was thankful. </span></div>
amandajanehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16401609253616669849noreply@blogger.com1